Had a tough weekend.
Craig and I had been looking forward to this past weekend for months, literally. He also took an extra day off to make it a 5 day weekend. Last Thanksgiving was nice with our families, but also hard because Eliana was severely colicky at that point so it was filled with screams. It was hard to enjoy much of anything back then. We knew this year would be better and she could actually participate and eat her first Thanksgiving meal (with no screams).
As we were all sitting down to eat, my father-in-law Gotz (pronounced Gertz) began having chest pains. Craig took his mom and step-dad to the Poulsbo Urgent Care only to find out they were closed. They called 911 and an ambulance took Gotz to Bremerton Harrison Hospital. On the way he had a heart attack. It lasted nearly 2 hours. I tried to keep updated from Craig as best I could but it was pretty much 45 second conversations every few hours. I felt bad for him missing the meal as his plate of food got cold and also worried for Gotz and the concern that I'm sure my mother-in-law was facing.
Eliana did love her first Thanksgiving meal, I just wish Craig could've seen it. It was good for me to be surrounded by so many wonderful friends and family. A dear mommy friend of mine came with her husband and sweet baby girl who is only 6 weeks older than Eliana. It was special to have the two beautiful little girls in their dresses running the show :)
Craig got home around 9pm and Eliana and I around 9:30. I finally got her to bed at 10:30 which was 3 hours past her normal time. Things felt tense between Craig and I. I think he thought I was mad about how the day went, when in reality I was just sad about it and exhausted from the day. We finally went to bed sometime after 1am. I hoped we'd all sleep in the next morning. Well, unfortunately a cell phone rang at 8am. I was cranky and irritated that he had the ringer on high. And since he knew a call would be coming, "why the heck did you not bring it in our bedroom on low ring!(yes, that was what I said to him)" I was so irritated that it woke Eliana up because I knew she'd be tired and cranky the whole day (and so would I).
The weekend sort of went on like this with one thing after another happening. For instance, in the checkout line at Target this conversation happened:
Stranger woman: "oh she's so cute, how old is she?"
Me: "thank you. 13 months."
Stranger woman:"Oh I have a 9 month old. And you're pregnant again (looking at my stomach)?"
Me: "no". And I then walked away.
After the 2 days we'd had and then the "are you pregnant" question I wanted to go find a hole and shoot myself. But that's not all.......on the way home from Target Eliana was screaming (super tired from not enough sleep that night) and we were all super stressed. I saw the undercover cop car on the driver side of the vehicle and I assumed Craig did. He did not. Yes, he got a ticket. On top of a heart attack on Thanksgiving, not getting enough sleep, spending 3 hours in the hospital that day, getting asked if I'm pregnant, a cranky, screaming baby.........a ticket!!! It's like, enough is enough. Come on already. I was speechless. I'm sure Craig thought I would light into him but I more than anything just wanted to find a quiet place to go cry. And Eliana was still screaming (why do cops go sit in their cars for so long?! just write the dang ticket already). Not a good day.
We slept in Sunday and really tried to reconnect and have a better day. We tried to communicate nicer and improve our weekend. The following days were considerably better but boy did the weekend start out rough! Oh and I was asked again (!!!) if I'm pregnant. I mean, come on people. Where is common courtesy. It is absolutely, indisputably RUDE to ask someone if they are pregnant. I see people all the time and I think to myself, "oh she might be pregnant." But then again she might be like me and put on weight in her midsection. I'm an apple as far as gaining weight goes. My butt and legs are always fairly trim no matter what. My belly, that's another scenario. It's genetic that I gain weight where I do. If I could change that and evenly distribute all my fat, I probably would. I would love to have some hips!
That being said, here's a motto I would like to pass on to all the inconsiderate feet-eaters out there, "Think before you speak."
Words hold power and saying things before you think about the consequences can be very hurtful to another person.
I would love to be pregnant, but I don't have that option yet as I'm waiting for my upcoming dr's appointment. I would also love to lose weight and it is an ongoing battle for me. So these two woman (who might I add were both very heavy) who thoughtlessly asked if I was pregnant, should heed the wisdom I learned as a child in regards to thinking first. I wonder how many other people they've made thoughtless comments to. They should be the one's embarrassed by their rudeness and stupidity, yet it was me (the victim) who feels embarrassed and humiliated.
I'm still working through it. I feel like everyone is looking at me now and thinking, "well she's either pregnant or just really fat". I just want to wear a big jacket everywhere. Or better yet lock myself in a room and never go anywhere. I wish it didn't matter what these two people that don't care about me said, but the fact is I can't just forget their comments.