Last night I did end up going back into her room to see if she'd nurse while sleeping/sleepy, but she turned her head away and actually ended up waking herself up she got so upset. I put her back down in her crib and she slept the rest of the night. So, that makes 3 times trying while she is asleep, no luck so far. I also tried multiple different times today and she rejected each time. The only different thing today was that I put the shield on my finger and she opened her mouth for it but just bit it really hard. As soon as I put it on myself she shook her head no and crawled away from me :(
I'm still pumping 5 times a day and am getting about 15oz which she drinks. Just today I finally started feeling a little bit more like myself. I've been feeling kind of depressed over the whole situation, just really out of sorts about it. I'm learning that she won't die if she can't nurse and she'll still grow into a happy and well-adjusted person. I'm trying to be thankful for the 13 1/2 months I had. I kind of wish I knew that last Tuesday morning would be our last nursing session so I couldn't really enjoyed it rather than sitting on the couch watching Live with Regis and Kelly. Don't get me wrong, I haven't given up yet, but I am trying to be at peace with where ever things are at as there is only so much I can do. While she is just a baby she is still her own person. We'll see what tomorrow holds. I'm still dreaming that she'll magically open up to nurse as if nothing ever happened.