Thursday, January 21, 2010

The battle of the bulge :)

Hi all,
So my weight loss is at 9.4lbs and it's been just over 2 1/2 weeks. I'm thrilled to be making progress despite being back on the fertility drugs band wagon :) I will say that it's been a challenge. I have majorly cut back on what I eat. I eat a little oatmeal (from Elly's bowl) for breakfast or a bowl of Special K and then some noodles or eggs or whatever Elly is eating for lunch. For dinner I try and keep a big variety but have been following the 'keep half your plate full of veggies and then 1/4 protein and 1/4 carb'. Also I'm eating 1/4 to 1/3 of what I used to eat. I feel hungry a lot. Like right now, I'm hungry. I had a bowl of homemade turkey chili 5 hours ago and I really want to eat something but I'm a little afraid that if I do I'll gain back weight. This is where I find myself going to extremes and it's a challenge for me to find the balance. It's easier for me to eat nothing and starve then to know what balance looks like. The good thing is that Elly eats every 3 hours during the day so it's a good reminder to me to eat something, even if it's just some cheese or a cracker; it's something! I will keep working daily to keep things in balance and not allow myself to live in extremes or get in the mindset to 'just keep cutting back and you'll lose more weight'. That is true of course, but I know that starvation will slow my metabolism, interfere with getting pregnant, rob me of energy, etc etc etc. I get it in my brain, but it's finding a healthy balance between eating the whole plate of cookies and never eating a cookie. I'll get there!

When Craig met me I was a size 6-8 (definitely am not right now!). I also didn't eat much. I'd have nothing for breakfast, some turkey and crackers for lunch and maybe some chicken or cottage cheese for dinner. That's it. I was busy, loving life, working a lot, going to the lake, tanning. I looked good and I felt good. Then I met Craig. He told me I was perfect and there was nothing about me or my body he'd want to change. Wow! A previous boyfriend made me feel that I could never measure up so it was a big change to feel loved and accepted and downright gorgeous and sexy! Then I got comfortable. We both got lazy and started sitting around watching movies and eating all the yummy food I made and before we knew it we'd both gained a lot of weight. Like I think 35lbs in a year. That's so scary, huh! I was fatter when I got married then I ever thought I would be. Since then it's been a constant problem for us. We both hate being overweight but it's a big challenge for us.

We started the Frazier Fit Club last spring kind of as a joke, but then some friends started following our progress and it was fun. We threw away all junk food, candy, and unhealthy processed food in the house. We kept food journals and weighed once a week. I started walking 4-6 miles a day (started at 1.5 miles and worked up) and Craig rode 6 miles a day on his bike. We ate super healthy and got off the couch every day to work out. After 3 1/2 months I'd only lost 13lbs and Craig around 8lbs I think. It was discouraging! I know you're probably thinking, wow, 13lbs, that's great! But for the amount of effort I was putting in the and the amount of restraint when it comes to diet, I really thought I should've seen more progess. I mean, I was dripping in sweat every day walking the hills in manette pushing a stroller. It was depressing honestly. So, we sorta gave up. Of course I gained the 13lbs back and then another 3 on top of that :( So, here we go again. Only this time I'm trying to see if I can make a big enough difference primarily on diet. The ideal is that I work out 3-5 times a week. The reality is that it won't happen (especially in winter) and I need to be able to lose weight and maintain a healthy weight by diet alone. I've talked to a few women who have lost nearly 100lbs each and they all swear by cutting back on food intake. Basically eating very small portions of healthy food.

I know my stomach is shrinking because I was super full after a bowl of chili tonight and I don't think 3 weeks ago I would've felt so full. I'm slowly breaking the habit of eating large quanities of food in one meal and am getting used to an empty plate and small portions. It's learning to say no to food and yes to myself.

What a journey we all are on!

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for your honesty. I still love the Frazier Fitness Club. Syndicate it! You are really still part of that club, it just looks a little different. That is what is so nice about it. It is not rigid, this way or forget it. You are both doing remarkable, wanting health, making changes.

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  2. I am really proud of you! A lot of people just give up on being healthy and you are a fighter! You go girl! :)

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