Wednesday, January 27, 2010

An idea....

Today is day 21 for me, which is normally when they do a progesterone blood draw to see if you've ovulated. We did that faithfully every month last time around and even the month I got pregnant the blood draw results still came back as 'hasn't ovulated'. I was so sad to get that news and pretty depressed that day actually and then at small group a friend announced they were pregnant, 'without even trying'. I was devastated. I mean, happy for them yes, but sad as heck for me! We stayed after group and our group pastors prayed with us. We left and on the way home picked up a pregnancy test at Albertson's on the advice of a random nurse who wanted me to check before she called in the next Clomid prescription for me. Having already been told I didn't ovulate (and as we know ovulation is 100% necessary to conceive) I was feeling almost mad about taking the test. I put it off for the next morning and was SO surprised when it was positive. I took another test at work (positive) and then drove to Urgent Care after work for a blood draw (positive). I just couldn't believe I was actually pregnant, especially after the 'you haven't ovulated' news.

I believe that I personally have a longer cycle so day 21 is not good for me. I tried to tell the nurses last time around and no one would listen to me! Well, until they told me I didn't ovulate and then I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. Clearly I had ovulated! So, this time around with a new dr they are actually listening to me and we'll do the blood draw on days 23 or 24 each month. My blood draw is Friday which is day 23 for me. We believe I conceived Eliana on day 23 of my cycle, so hopefully it'll be the right day for a blood draw. Otherwise the whole thing is kind of pointless and a waste of $35.

I find myself being a little hyper sensitive about 'symptoms' and thinking, am I pregnant? Things like, swollen breasts, light cramping, fatigue, etc. Of course those are all early pregnancy symptoms, but they could also just be normal every day stuff! It will be weird if I get pregnant on the first month of Clomid, but anything is possible. I mostly don't want to get my hopes up for nothing. The up and downs every month of "am I pregnant???" "No I'm not pregnant." are exhausting and depressing. I want to stay realistic if I can. I'll probably find out Monday if I've ovulated and then if I did we'll wait at least a week and take a pregnancy test. Craig was thinking that if I find out I've ovulated it means 100% that I'm pregnant. That is not the case. Things are so complex! Not only do we need the medication right so I ovulate, we also need to time intimacy right (pretty much every day for 2 weeks like we did when we got pregnant with Elly), and then his swimmers need to go the right way and get the job done. Or actually 'swimmer' in singular I should say. The thought of twins scares me! haha

My weight loss has kind of plateaued (another reason I'm wondering if I'm prego, but probably just making it up in my head!). I was losing something every day for about 2 week, but have gotten stuck at minus 10lbs. I'll keep plugging away and working at it and hopefully see more results on the scale soon.

So, this is another topic, but I'm curious what you all think. A girlfriend of mine that has been dealing with fertility issues for years came up with the idea for us to co-write a book about our journey's. She was looking at Borders for books from the personal infertility perspective, but could pretty much only find clinical books. We've both read Waiting for Daisy, which was good and interesting, but also a different point of view from us. I think we could write a really frickin' awesome book! And I was thinking it could be really neat to include short stories from friends and co-workers who have struggled and what it's been like for them. When you are in the middle of infertility one of the most comforting things is hearing of others dealing with it to. We would love to be that voice of comfort and 'you are not alone!' If you had fertility issues, would you buy it?????

3 comments:

  1. Good luck keeping you both in my prayers. As far as ovulation have you tried to take your basal body temperature? I use the FAM (fertility awareness method) for both birth control and TTC and you can determine when you've ovulated by a rise in temp.

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  2. I tried basal body temping when I was TTC Elly and it seemed difficult for me since I never get up in the morning at the same time. It was always different and I couldn't tell when I was ovulating. That and Clomid gives you hot flashes! haha
    I wish the store kits would work but they're not accurate for Clomid users :(

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  3. Last day of slippery egg-white mucous, regardless of how different your cycle is, is considered Peak day of ovulation. Don't know if that helps, but it's an opportunity to TTC when you see that. Also, babywishes.com has free shipping on pg and ov kit tests, no min. purchase. $1 apiece for the cheapest tests. It's the only way to go! Lastly, I'd only be interested in reading a book if it had stories where God answered prayer in ways other than just pregnancy. Like where families adopted, couples decided to be a family of 2, etc, etc. Because not everyone eventually gets pregnant. But it sounds interesting and I wouldn't mind contributing!

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