Life has been busy and I haven't had much to say the last few days. I'm worn out. Eliana is still not sleeping well. She wakes up screaming once a night lately and then is awake at 7am. Yesterday and today she only took a 30 minute nap. By about 5:30pm she is exhausted, cranky, and just not herself. But I can't put her to bed at 5:30 or she'll wake up at 5am :( So, I'm just hanging in there and trying to get things done around the house here and there. But I'm not gonna lie, I'm exhausted and emotionally worn out from dealing with a tired baby that won't sleep.
New news- Craig and I are looking into listing our house in the next couple weeks. I kinda feel like, are we crazy to try and sell and try and get pregnant at the same time? Probably, but oh well! It's amazing when I look at property listings how much you can get for your dollar now versus 4 years ago. If we are able to sell we will not make anything. The 4 years of payments, $15k of renovations and sweat....it all goes to crap. But at this point we just need more room. I sort of love this home, but it's not functional for us right now. I feel like if we are able to sell, great! We'll either rent or try and find something to buy. If it doesn't sell then God has other plans for us. Craig is working on getting some things done around the house so it'll be ready to list and I need to start decluttering in the house. Honestly, it's hard to declutter when you have such little space to begin with....but I realize we don't want potential buyers thinking that right off the bat. The gardens are a mess but it gets dark so early I can't get to them in the evenings and Lord knows it's not like I have a couple free hours (when other people's children are napping!) during the day.
I'm honestly scared to sell our home. As small and cramped as this house is for us, it's also home. We've been through a lot in this home and it has memories and it's my comfort zone. We survived Craig's accident and rehabilitation while living here, we survived working 6 day weeks and fighting with his psycho (unChristian to say, I know. But the title fits) ex about child custody and support, adopting our dog and then having to put our dog down, infertility, bringing our baby home, making it through 4 months of colic screams and GERD.....etc! This home has seen us through a lot and it's my comfort zone. It's scary to think of not having it anymore and just not knowing what the future holds. Everything in this home works; septic, heater, windows, roof, etc...it's all in great condition. I don't worry about that stuff here. But if we move then what if we end up in a worse place? I know I need to take it one day at a time and trust God that He knows what is best for us. I know He hears our prayers and we have to see if the answer is no, yes, or not now.
Always something new to add to our prayers I guess.