Hey ya'll, nothing I can report. Thank you for all the love and prayers and support. I appreciate each of you :) Just wanted to check in. Maybe we'll take a month off since I don't really want a baby due on Christmas (just my personal choice).
Also, wanted to share a story of prophecy in Craig's and my life. I think it's pretty cool and worth other's reading.
n., pl., -cies (-sēz).
a.An inspired utterance of a prophet, viewed as a revelation of divine will.
b.A prediction of the future, made under divine inspiration.
c.Such an inspired message or prediction transmitted orally or in writing.
2.The vocation or condition of a prophet.
Craig and I had been invited to a prayer meeting at a friend's house where a Christian man (Victor Burgos) with the gift of prophecy would pray over those who wanted it. To be honest it was a bit outside of our comfort zone. But since we'd been trying for sometime (I want to say over a year at that point) already to get pregnant with no success it seemed fairly appropriate to go and see if God had a word for us.
We went and several people we'd known for 10 plus years were there so that helped us feel more comfortable, but I was definitely still nervous for when it would be our turn.
*Before I go any further I want to explain that it's nothing mystical or magical that happens at something like this. It's normal people wearing normal clothes sitting in a normal house eating normal snacks :) Prophetic word was commonplace in the Bible and still exists in our world today, because our God still exists!
Ok, so when it was our turn we went up to the middle of the living room together and Craig and I held hands and Victor started praying over us. The cassette recorder didn't work :(, so this is what we remember and what those there have relayed to us:
"You're in a small boat, as you step onto the water, keep your eyes ahead/focused. The waters have been rough. You only have the small boat. God will give you a yacht/provide a yacht.
People that were your friends in the past became your enemies, they weren't there for you as they should've been. Even your family has turned against you.
Do not worry about what to eat or drink or wear. You have nothing now, but God will provide. As you put your house in order as you have been. God will give you riches. This will not change you, will not corrupt you. Like Solomon's riches but you won't be corrupt.
You have a small boat, God will give you a yacht.
Love no one else more, be glued together. Fight together side by side and back to back.
Your family were your enemies, maybe didn't approve of you. But the Lord says, I approve, this is right. This is a right choice. Your family will rally around you.
At this point Victor directed Craig to put his hands on my stomach (he DID NOT know we were trying to get pregnant) Thank you for this womb. Greatness will come from this womb. I bless this womb. This womb is blessed. He told Craig to pray that my womb is blessed with his hands on it. You will be great parents.
As you give to the poor you give to God. "
WOW, huh? A few major points we saw were:
1) Friends and family were enemies; the family will come around and be support.
2) It's been a rough road but will get better.
3) God will give us riches.
4) Our union is blessed.
5) My womb is blessed.
I can honestly and truly say that we saw truth in all of that. Unfortunately when Craig's accident happened many people he thought were friends turned out to be the opposite of a friend. It was very hard for Craig to realize all the 'support' he thought he had wasn't real. He felt lonely because of it.
And when we were dating/engaged there was a lot of drama with my family and it really did seem that they did not approve of us and it wasn't until maybe 6 months before the wedding (maybe less) that they came around. Now my family loves Craig as their own and truly do rally around us.
Oh man, it has definitely been a rough road for us! We dealt with more in the first year of marriage than many people deal with in 50 years. Trust me on that.
As far as God giving us riches, we're still waiting on that :) We almost think maybe the 'small boat' is our little house. We seem to have so little and live so frugally compared to many of our friends with huge homes and new cars. I'm not saying people with huge homes and new cars don't live frugrally, I know most people right now are living on a budget. It just almost seems funny to me that I have more friends (and family) than I can almost count with huge homes. It's like, ok God, can we get one even half that size?
We pray and trust that God continues to provide everything we need and also will grant us the desires of our heart; a home we can grow a family in.
God saying our union is blessed was just sort of a confirmation to us. Through all the trials we've faced sometimes we thought, "are we facing all these troubles because we aren't supposed to be together?" Sounds bad I know, but when life continually beats you up you can't help but question things. To hear God say He approves of us and to keep fighting side by side was encouraging and just let us know that God sees our work and He wants us together.
Ok, so on the blessed womb front, wow! As we drove home that night we were still trying to process everything. I was thinking maybe Victor thought I was pregnant or something like that. But as we thought more and other people there talked to us about it we realized that it truly was a prophecy about what was to come for us. It gave me hope that I would have a baby someday. That maybe it wouldn't be the next month, but it would happen. Well, 9 months later we got pregnant with Eliana, our little miracle. We named her Eliana Amaris because in Hebrew it means, 'God answers our prayers and He fulfills His promises'. Pretty appropriate, huh? I think it's such a testament to God because when we were TTC Eliana I was much quieter about my fertility issues. No blog, no facebook. Just Craig and me and the pain. There truly was no way that Victor could've known what we were going through. There were other couples there and he didn't pray over their wombs..........but for us it was specific! God knew exactly what we needed. In the 9 months following that prayer meeting I held on to the prophecy and it gave me a reason to press on throughout the exhausting and painful fertility journey.
What I hope you can gather from me sharing this is how real and personal our God is. He cares about the big stuff and the little stuff and He desires a friendship with you. If you do not know God is this way yet, I pray that God reveals Himself to you in a way that is so real that you can't possibly chalk it up to coincidence.
All the things that break your heart and stress you out, God cares about those things!
Seven years ago I was honored to travel with the Continental Singers for 3 months as Assistant Director and soloist. It was a crazy journey living on an old bus with 25 other people. Every day we did 1-3 shows with full set up and tear down. We also stayed in host homes with strangers and ate our meals with strangers. For someone like me that likes to plan, it was challenging! What I learned over the weeks was that no matter how tired and uncomfortable I felt with the constant change and all the unknowns...........God knew exactly what the next day held for me. I came to the point where I didn't worry at all and I lived in peace on that crowded bus. Even to this day I can think back to that time of my life and remember the peace and remind myself that God goes before me and He already knows the plan. He already knows when we'll have our next child. He already knows when our house will sell. Ok, I could go on and on, I think you get the point.
Whatever is keeping you up at night, give it to God :)