Monday, May 10, 2010

The big, wonderful news!

Hi folks! I'm still in Mazatlan, just 2 1/2 days left of vaca. Hubby went home Saturday :( so it's Eliana, my mom, sister, the grandparents, and my aunt, uncle, and 2 cousins. Tomorrow night is karoake and they've convinced me that Torres needs to hear a professional singer (I think they're right judging by what we heard last week from our room! haha). So I will be going down to sing and hoping they have some Lauren Hill or Whitney for me to do my thang :) We're all going to dinner earlier in the evening tomorrow to celebrate my cousin's graduation from Azusa! Way to go Kaylee! And also my cousin Lindsey's marriage engagement to Dan!!!

So, for those that aren't facebook friends or have missed the posts..........Craig and I are so thrilled to announce that we are expecting Baby Frazier #2 coming November 2010!!! YAY :)
Are you thinking, "uh, I thought you said you were taking a break".....or, "I had a feeling since you hadn't said much about trying,"........well, I figured some of you would have a guess about it. When it came down to it I was only a couple weeks along when we found out (if even that) and it just felt so fragile to tell the whole big wide world and you 700 monthly readers (thank you btw!). With our first we were so excited after 2 years of fertility treatments that we blabbed at 9 weeks and I had decided to wait at least that long this time. Part of the secrecy had to do with my dr being booked until my 9th week anyway. I didn't want to say anything before having an ultrasound or bloodwork at least. And then once we made it to 9 weeks it was like, well, what the heck let's just wait til 12. So I am 12 weeks and 1 day, roughly. We're 100% sure what day I ovulated (BBT charting and CM charting, as well as a progesterone blood draw) but implantation takes a few days so we can't be exactly sure when the baby is 'due' but looks like a couple days before Thanksgiving. As you know from previous posts I will advocate for the baby to stay in as long as possible and I'm dreaming of and praying for a labor that comes on it's own and is not medically induced.

*Note there is a acronym chart at the bottom of this post :)

So, how'd it all happen, besides the obvious :).......We started Clomid again in January (after 10 days of Provera to cause a period that I otherwise literally NEVER have). Around days 9 or 10 of Provera a period begins (day one of any bleeding is called Cycle Day 1 or CD1). On CD 5-9 I take Clomid. It's two tiny little white pills that you take once a day around the same time and it cost me about $20 for generic. I also did Basal Body Temping (BBT) starting on CD1 on I'm not a spokesperson for them or anything (although I should be!) but I highly recommend the website. I knew 2 days after implantation that I was pregnant and is really gives you a sense of what is going on with your body as well as allowing you to track all symptoms, intimacy, dr's appointments, etc. On CD 23 I went in for a progesterone blood draw. Most people go in on CD 20 or before, but I ovulate on CD 20 and you need to do it after ovulation in order to get the right number to show you ovulate. If you ovulate on CD 21 but test on CD 20 it'll say you didn't ovulate (since you haven't yet) and you'll get all depressed and maybe not have intimacy and then there's a wasted month. That's where the charting comes in handy since it'll tell you the exact day you ovulate and then you just confirm with the blood draw. The blood draw cost me $35.
Ok, so to clear it all up, here's the schedule:
For 10 days: 10mg (I think???) Provera (small pill once a day, costs $10 I think)
CD 5-9: 100 mg Clomid (2 tiny pills once a day, costs $20 for generic)
CD 23: Progesterone blood draw (the result was around 6.50, barely sufficient to signify ovulation, but enough; costs about $35)
CD 34: My period should start again if I'm not pregnant (I have long cycles)
*I also charted my temp and CM every day the whole month, took lots of vitamin supplements to help with insulin resistance, didn't have any alcohol, and worked on losing weight (I lost about 13lbs in January and another 7 in February).

Since it had been SO long since my last period (back when we were doing all this stuff to get pregnant with Elly) I had no idea how long my cycle would last. So when I got to 32 days, then 33 days.....I started thinking, 'wow, maybe I am pregnant, maybe it worked the first month!!!'' I called the nurse and she said to give it a couple more days then come on in. Well, wouldn't you know it on CD 34 my period started. This was good and bad news. The good news is that it was literally the first time in my entire life of 26 3/4 years that I have ever had a period without medicine making it happen. Wow!!!! The bad news of course was that although I did in fact ovulate, we didn't conceive :( Ok, back to the drawing board. We started all over again in February. The only difference was that since my body started a period on it's own (I think that's so awesome!) I could skip the Provera and just wait til CD 5 to start the Clomid. The nurse said it was a fantastic sign that I got my period on my own and we'd all be hopeful for the 2nd month. So, we did the same exact routine as January and even same dose of Clomid. Since it was enough to make me ovulate they didn't want to increase it. Clomid is the sort of thing where you either ovulate or you don't; it's not really a, "well maybe if I take more I'll ovulate more" type of thing. It's more yes or no and I got a yes at 100mg (note that I conceived Elly on 150mg so my body is more sensitive now, which is also great). From temping I knew that I'd ovulated on CD 20, same as January, so the blood draw was really just to confirm it. The nurse called the next day and my number was about 24, significantly higher than the month before. This was good news as well and a hopeful sign. Then it was the waiting game. So we waited and waited. Basically at that point you're either waiting for your period or a positive pregnancy test; it's one or the other. I waited til 11 days past ovulation (DPO) to take a home pregnancy test (HPT). It was negative. What a blow! Ugh, I was so upset. But, my chart that month had a 7 DPO dip which typically is only on a chart where implantation occurs. I poured over hundreds of charts on the website and only about 5% of charts with the dip weren't pregnant charts. By DPO 9 my temp shot right back up and that's why I took a HPT. So, I waited til CD 33 or 13 DPO (I know, I could've just waited for the next day to see if my period would start), but we were so anxious. Well, as luck would have it the first test didn't work! We waited 6 minutes and there was nothing in the little window at all and I definitely had enough pee. I went in on the computer kinda bummed and figured I wasn't meant to know yet.  A couple minutes later I snuck into the kitchen and looked at it again and there was a pink line and another faint pink line. Uh, WHAT??? I called Craig in and handed it to him and was like, geez what do we do now? I've never heard of a test suddenly working after almost 10 minutes. We grabbed the 2nd and last test we had and I drank tons of water and after the standard 3 minutes we had 2 lines again! WOW. Even though I had a hunch about it from temping I was still totally flabbergasted that we conceived after less than 2 months of trying. It was a Saturday so I couldn't get in for a blood draw to confirm but we came up with a little plan to tell my folks....we put Elly in a 'Big Sister' t-shirt (that I just happened to run across for cheap that week at TJ Maxx and figured I wouldn't use for months, little did I know I was pregnant when I bought it!). We drove to Poulsbo and waited for my family to wake up and when they did we took off Elly's jacket and waited for them to notice. It took a good 5 minutes for them to get it and then of course everyone was excited. We did the same thing with Craig's folks.

So, all that to say we were blessed tremendously to have a short time of fertility treatments with this child and I am still surprised at it all! I'm proud of my body for remembering doing all this last time and making it easier and I'm thankful that God felt our family was ready for another child.

At about 9 weeks we had our first dr appointment and ultrasound. Our dr is so friendly and personable and I really like her. Our main question to ask was, 'is it twins!?' Craig had been teasing me about it and I really thought it might be true since I was SO tired, like way more so than with Elly; I had to pee all the stinking time; and I was nauseous (which I never was with Elly). So, in goes the probe for the ultrasound and right off the bat we see tons of cysts in my ovaries, especially my right. The dr says these are caused by the Clomid and they're pretty harmless and typically go away by week 12 or 13 once the baby is living off the placenta (versus yolk sack). The problem for me was that they were everywhere and huge and pushing on my bladder. Then came the time to find the little baby, which should've resembled a gummy bear at this point. It got really quiet. Like hear a pin drop and I couldn't read my dr's face. She kept moving the probe and looking around different areas. Then she pointed to a small circle type opening and said, "well, this is where the baby should be...." She didn't say, "there's no baby," or "you've miscarried", but I was smart enough to know that's what she was probably going to say in a matter of minutes. It was silent for the next 60 seconds. Craig later told me he almost had a heart attack. I felt surprised and dismayed that we'd get pregnant so quickly only to then lose it. I thought of all the many women I know who have lost a baby and realized this was what they felt like. I also felt a sense of peace and that God had a plan for us and whatever happened we'd be ok. Basically I didn't freak out, I just laid there thinking. Ok, after the longest minute ever, our dr said, "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, there's the baby!" And sure enough there was our little gummy bear with the tiniest little beating heart. Remember all those cysts I talked about? Yeah, well those cysts rearranged things a bit so the baby was not where a dr would normally find the baby. Again, not a big issue long term, just threw off the ultrasound. I'm sure our dr felt terrible about it and honestly it could happen to anyone. How was she supposed to know the baby was a little moved? She said everything looked good and my symptoms felt so extreme because all the Clomid cysts release hormones similar to a baby making me feel like it was multiples. She said my right ovary had tons of follicles and the Clomid really did it's job and she's pretty sure we conceived from the right side (weird, huh!) and she was a bit surprised it wasn't twins either.
Now 12 weeks in I feel pretty good. A little emotional and I'm definitely showing (I didn't really til 7 months with Elly!), but mostly I feel like myself. I have another dr appointment in one week and I'm looking forward to hearing the heart beat on the dopplar. I always worry about miscarrying. Especially this time. It's almost like, since it happened so easy maybe it'll be taken away from me. I know I shouldn't feel that way and I worried every single day about miscarrying Eliana also. When you have to work so hard to get pregnant, it feels like maybe you won't actually get to have the baby. This is weird to explain, but I know all you women that have been through this get it. I will keep praying for a full term, healthy baby. I have zero signs of a miscarriage and I just have to keep telling myself this.

So, thank you to all of you who have loved, supported, and prayed for us. This has been a journey for us and also for so many of our friends and family. I'm sorry to have been a bit coy once I actually got pregnant, but I'm sure you all understand. And to those still trying, don't give up. Do everything you can to be healthy, research options, get a good dr, and mostly ask God to make you a mommy.

Acronym chart:
BBT- Basal Body Temping
CM- Cervical Mucous
CD- Cycle Day
DPO- Days past ovulation
HPT-Home pregnancy test

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