Monday, September 13, 2010

What our children teach us

 (pic taken at my mom's in the guest suite bathroom)
30 weeks, wowza! Feeling pretty good; ring still fits, shoes still fit, weight gain total is about 11lbs as of this morning. Seems my body is catching up a bit, but I'm still focusing on healthy eating and keeping the number low :) My belly feels ginormous! I mean, honestly, it truly wasn't this big when I delivered Eliana. My belly button is nearly flat already and may even pop this time around. No new stretch marks....yet. This time around I actually 'feel' pregnant. It was so easy with Eliana that I really thought it was super delightful being pregnant and I wanted to be pregnant forever! My belly never got very big and I didn't 'feel' very pregnant other than the constant movements from her.
This time around it's a tad different. Still not awful or even hard, just more real. My lower back hurts sometimes, I have a hard time getting off the couch quickly or without Craig to shove or pull, my ankles get puffy if I've been standing or walking all day, my nose feels stuffy, I'm SO HOT all the time (aka The Sweat Monger), and even intimacy feels different, not bad maybe even better, just different (just like the books say it's supposed to, but it's a little weird until you experience it). How two pregnancies with two girls can be so different is a little beyond me, but they are! I still enjoy being pregnant, but I can see how women could feel antsy to get the baby out as 40 weeks approaches. I'm still planning to let this one stay in as long as she feels is appropriate and so I'm still praying for me to stay healthy in order for that to happen. My prayer is for spontaneous labor when the baby is ready, a calm and safe labor, a memorable and beautiful home delivery (in water would be cool), and a healthy and happy little girl who nurses fabulously.
God has and is teaching me so much through this pregnancy. I think Eliana was our message of love from God. We'd had a REALLY rough couple of years between court financial and custody drama over Craig's son, Craig's accident and the mess from that, and then infertility. We at times doubted God's sovereignty and love for us and when Eliana came it was like God said, "See, I do love you. I've had a plan all along for you to be parents. It was in My timing and in My way, and I planned from the start to bless you." Eliana continues to be loving, gentle, sensitive, and has taught Craig and I to treat her with gentleness and sensitivity. She is our little lover! Just Sunday she kept breaking during dinner to give Craig and I hugs. Then she'd giggle, go back to eating for 3 minutes, and ask for a hug again. Real hugs, too, where she'd wrap her little arms around our shoulders. How can you not love that? She is a total blessing.
This child, though not even born yet, is teaching Craig and I to follow our hearts and the gentle and not gentle urges that God gives us. I'm learning to trust my feelings on things and to not walk blindly but educate myself and choose the options that are best for me. With how much this baby has already taught us about ourselves and life and advocating I can't help but wonder what mountains she'll move once she's born.

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