As a mother I feel like every milestone is very bittersweet. It's awesome that she's saying 1-5 new words every day, but I also remember when she was days old and trying to just figure out breastfeeding. It's awesome that she loves to read and plays with her baby dolls as if they are really her babies, but I remember when she was still the baby. It's awesome that she loves avocado, scrambled eggs, and eating 'crunchy balls'- aka Kix cereal, but I remember the first time she tried pureed carrots and the crazy face she made..........she'll never be that little again and that's a bit sad to me. My joy in it is that she is so sweet and tender and loving. She is innately, I believe, a sensitive and kind soul. I am blessed to be with her every day and have the opportunity to hug and kiss her all day long. We can sit and read Little Mommy (her favorite book) 5 times in a row. We can count her toy cars and say the colors together. She can watch me put on makeup and ask to wear some of mommy's eye shadow. We can go outside and pick peas from our veggie garden and wave hello to our corn. I am so lucky and blessed to be her mother and get to have all these moments with her.
I think it would all be that much sadder for me if this was my last or only child. I am thankful I get to experience all the baby stuff again with a new baby soon and hopefully more after that. But little Eliana will only continue to get older and I will have to deal with the tears of losing my little baby.
I noticed yesterday that her last two molars, on top, are indeed making their way through. She almost has a full mouth of teeth! She is literally, like I said, saying 1-5 new words everyday. Craig and I look at each other and say, "how did she learn that?" Like Sunday at TJ Maxx, she pointed to a huge stuffed teddy bear and said, "I need that." Uh, really? Oh my. lol. She instead made it out of the store with a super sweet book called My Sister and I :)
Eliana is growing and changing every day and becoming less my baby and more my child. I'm thankful to God every day that He chose us to raise her and teach her about Him and life. I pray we are doing a good job and someday Elly won't need too much counseling because of me :)
Ok, I feel like I'm rambling........and I need to go clean the oven (again), I did it twice yesterday but there's some stuff not coming off. I also cleaned the bathroom, did 3 loads of laundry, vacuumed, mopped, did prenatal yoga, made Craig's lunch for today, made meatloaf and Dutch potatoes from scratch, and paid the bills. And I was exhausted last night, seriously. I'm realizing my body is trying to enforce limitations on me in this pregnant state and I'm not loving it. Sunday I was up at 5:30am to be at church by 7am to sing with the worship team in the 3 morning services. I got home around 2pm and then Craig, Elly, and I left again to run errands for a few hours. I didn't get to bed til almost midnight that day. And again, I was exhausted. I feel like I need to push the envelope because I will be so busy and probably overwhelmed with a 2 year old and a brand new baby in a matter of weeks....but I also know somewhere in my brain I should be taking it easy and relaxing and resting up for the marathon known as labor. Balance I guess. Forever working on it!
Alright, off to conquer the oven and then my 34 week midwife appointment later.......