Late last week Craig got a call that his son's mother was planning to move to Chicago with Jacob (his son) and Jacob's older brother (who has a different father). Craig's response was that he wasn't thrilled about him moving even further away than Vegas and he didn't know if we could still afford to fly him up here as flights are almost double the cost from Chicago.
Craig told me about it last Friday and I immediately felt worried that we might not get to see him this year. So while Craig was at work Saturday (yes, more overtime that is unpaid, argh), I decided to go ahead and email his ex to see if it was for sure and if so which airport I should book his ticket from. I chose to be very friendly and kind and pretend that nothing horrible had ever been said between all of us. I figured she'd either 1)ignore me, 2)be nice, or 3)be rude. And whaddya know, she was nice as well. We were almost chatting via email, can you believe that? We decided to fly Jacob up here before they leave for Chicago so he doesn't have to do the super long drive and also so his flight will be cheaper coming from Vegas. This means he's coming in 1 1/2 weeks and not in 1 1/2 months as we had thought!
I have to insert here that I am proud of myself for taking the initiative to get things going and also for being a decent human being and approaching the ex with kindness. Does this mean I've matured???? LOL
I believe Craig was slightly apprehensive just because of me. He would have Jacob live here full time in a heart beat (which we don't because the ex won't allow it), but he was worried about me already having my hands full with a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 month old. Basically, I know it will be very challenging at times. I will probably cry more than several times and lose even more sleep than I already am, but I absolutely don't want to pass up on an opportunity for us to have Jacob around. There will be a learning curve to us all working together cohesively as a family, but we'll get there. The other super great part is that the ex is letting us keep him til the middle of June :) This will be so great since he'll have time to really make friends and feel like he is a part of things here and not just a 1 week visitor. We'll be able to establish routines and habits and Eliana will really get to know her brother.
I'm pretty excited to have him come now that we have this great big house and he gets his own room! Through some wonderful generosity by Craig's folks we were able to buy a Queen size bed today for Jacob's room. We already had a frame and some sheets, but now he gets a nice bed! A blowup mattress for 2 months just didn't seem right. I really want things to be nice for him and to feel like his home. I picked up some green jersey sheets so we'd have a back up and I chose green because when I met Jacob he was 4 and I asked him what his favorite color was and he said, "green, just like my dad." :) Although, now I wonder if he even likes green anymore and maybe I chose totally wrong, but hopefully he's excited about his new digs.
Something I want to be cautious of is freezing him in time to whenever we last saw him. I remember my dad and relatives I didn't see would do that. My dad would talk on the phone with me about stuff from when I was a younger kid and I would think, "I'm 12 now, I don't play with My Little Ponies." But, now being the adult in the situation it totally makes sense. You're going off of your last frame of reference and kids change so darn fast! A LOT changes in a year and Jacob hasn't been here in a whole year.
I just feel like God has blessed us with this opportunity and I would be selfish, wrong, and sad to miss the chance to have him here. I'm also praying that God will work wonders and reveal himself to Jacob. 11 years old is really a time that a kid can see how real God is. He'll have the opportunity to go to church with us every week and be a part of our daily life that includes God and I just hope this is a time he can look back on with good memories and feelings of solidarity about his place in this family and who God is to this family.
I find myself getting a little teary thinking about him coming and not because I'm sad he's coming, but because I'm excited and I think anticipating great things. He will for sure love riding his dad's riding lawn mower, or "tractor" as Elly calls it. He and Elly will have to fight over it :)
Pray for us!
XO ~ D