I workout hard and I push myself every day, knowing that my mind has strength to force my muscles to do things they don't think they can. Today was Drench, a 48 minute workout that sometimes makes me actually nauseous. It's a killer workout.
I don't love the longer workouts as it seems by about 30 minutes all hell is breaking lose with my kids and it's NOT a relaxing workout. But they know mommy needs her workout and I want to be a healthy mommy. So, it's the way it goes. And no, planks, yoga moves, and push ups are not easy with a 30+lb kid climbing on you. And sometimes I can't hear the instructor over the screams from the wildlife. Ahhh! I am trying to eliminate excuses by just doing what needs to be done. I have 3 kids ages 6, 4, and 1. I workout nearly every day. I don't have a nanny, babysitter, or childcare center. Moms- we can do this!
This second month of PiYo I have been really watching what I'm eating in terms of the ratios of carbs-fat-protein and how my body responds. I know I need low carb and high protein because I have severe poly cycstic ovarian syndrome. But how many grams of each will put my body into ketosis (fat burning) is something I am learning. I seem to do best with less than 100g carbs per day, ideally 80-90 or less- mind you none of these are refined. I don't do bread, pasta, etc. The carbs are from fruit, veggies, dairy, etc. And then 120 or more grams of protein a day, ideally 140+.
It is still challenging to get enough healthy calories. Partly because if I eat as many calories as various calculators (PiYo, MyFitnessPal, etc) tell me I should, I'm afraid I will gain weight. So, I'm still working on finding balance and an emotionally healthy approach. Truthfully, it's a mental struggle every day.
I haven't weighed this weight for over a year and even then it was short lived, maybe a week. And I am certainly more muscular than I've probably ever been.
Leg muscles for days!
Whitney Thore, from My Big Fat Fabulous Life on TLC, said in a season 1 interview that with PCOS, "if you aren't actively losing, you're gaining." Sadly, it is quite true. It felt good to hear another person say it out loud, because I've felt that for years but then I would doubt that it's the disease and get down on myself for being a pig. But here's the deal. I am strong. Really strong! Pushups (not on my knees!), running, burpees, I can do it all! I have given birth to 3 kids naturally. I have nourished 3 kids from my body and #3 is still majorly addicted to mom's milk. I have had an ovarian tumor, countless ovarian cysts, put my body through nearly a dozen fertility treatments, 2 ovarian surgeries, lost an ovary, and yet it keeps working and getting better. It hasn't given up!
I am not currently on any pharmaceutical drugs. No Metformin, no antidepressants. I am working to overcome the difficulties of PCOS with exercise and eating for my body. It's not easy. It's trial and error.
Last week we went away for a couple days. I brought Quest Bars and protein powder, I did not have waffles, cereal, or breakfast burritos at the breakfast buffet. I had a lettuce bun on my Red Robin Burger and a lettuce wrap on my fish tacos at the zoo. I walked like crazy and swam every day. I had zero alcohol. And I still gained 3lbs in 2 1/2 days. My body is super sensitive and gains weight the first chance I give it. There's no grace. So I must be relentless and understand that anything I eat will have consequences.