The Vintage Farm Girl is "Crunchy meets Diva= Sparkly Granola"

It Will Not Be Unredeemed

2012-01-22T20:39:00.000-08:00

My heart is so heavy for a friend today. She lost her baby girl yesterday at 38 weeks. Beautiful angel baby Mya is being born today. I just can't even imagine what my friend is facing right now. A friend and co-worker of mine lost her baby girl at 38 weeks about a decade ago and I remember the deep deep sorrow they faced and the stress of planning a memorial and all the funeral arrangements. Not at all what someone 38 weeks thinks they will find themselves doing.

In moments like these there aren't really any words that seem to fit. Everything feels too small and not enough and trite no matter how sincere we are. But yet ignoring (by not saying anything) someone's loss carries with it it's own pain. It's different but I remember feeling that way after Craig's accident. Many people seemed to just fall off the face of the earth. They didn't call or come visit or talk to me if they saw me out in public. They just didn't know what to say, but I felt shunned and alone in my pain.

A friend of mine who recently suffered losing her own sweet baby wrote a blog about how to help a friend who has lost a baby. Read Rachel's blog HERE. Thank you Rachel :)

Life can be so messy and painful. Yes, we know there is joy even in the midst of trial, but sometimes the trials waterboard us and we are doing all we can just to take a breath. Life is so heavy right now for so many people. My mother in law is back at Virginia Mason after having another problem with her feeding tube. She still has stage 4 cancer. My sister in law is having to relearn how to live after becoming a widow 4 weeks ago. And now my sweet friend has to deal with losing her baby girl. I feel raw and it's in these moments that I wonder when life will feel "normal" again. It's been messy for what feels like so long and people I care about keep suffering. Jesus carries us through these times, I do know that. In the pain we just do all we can to throw ourselves at Him and surrender and allow Him to carry us. This song is beautiful and so true:

Deprivation

2012-01-19T21:12:00.000-08:00

Shortly after my last post life took a rather interesting turn. Eliana, my child who loves sleep and would typically sleep from 7pm to 9am.... stopped sleeping! What I do mean, stopped sleeping? Well, pretty much she decided she didn't need to sleep at all...naps, nighttime, nothing. So here I am 1 1/2 weeks later living off no more than 3 hours of sleep each night and ready to crash at any moment. I'm cranky, sensitive, rude, emotional, lethargic...you name it. We're talking major sleep deprivation here. And the 3 hours is 3 hours total- not consecutive. Some nights it's closer to an hour. My brain hasn't gotten the deep sleep cycle in a LONG time. The irony in all this is that Evangeline, who has been a terrible sleeper since day 1, is finally sleeping! She's up 1-3x to nurse and then goes right back to sleep. It's Eliana that is giving me hell.

I took her to her pediatrician a few days ago and he confirmed my suspicions that BOTH of her ear tubes have fallen out. It's sucks, they were only in for 5 months. But, 30% of ear tubes fall out before their time and unlucky us, we're in that 30%. I am praying that getting tubes back in will fix things but now we seem to be in a such a bad pattern of her constantly waking and not staying in her room. Our consult with her Ear Nose Throat Dr is on the 24th, so I've got a week at least til any slightest hope of reprieve. She's currently receiving an antibiotic for her ear infection and the fluid sitting in her ears, Benadryl to help things drain and dry out, Tylenol for the ear pain, and Calms Forte to help her chill out and go to sleep.....and still- no sleep. It's insane and leaves me in a total quandary. How can I be SO exhausted but she's acting like it's not big deal?

It all basically started after a crazy weekend 1 1/2 weekends ago. We had to be out of town for family stuff and didn't get home til nearly 11pm. Neither girl slept a wink all day. Eliana hasn't been the same ever since. I sort of think maybe her tubes fell out that day. Life is basically back to how it was before she ever had tubes; she doesn't hear us, can't sleep, complains of ear pain, etc. But this non-sleeping stuff is the worst it's ever been. I just fall asleep and she's at our door knocking. 2 nights ago I was up nursing Evie at 1am and just after I got her back to sleep Eliana was at my door wanting to be awake. I took her into the kitchen for more Benadryl and Calms Forte. I set her on the kitchen bench and started getting her doses and she fell off the bench onto her back and was screaming. I turned around to go to her and stepped on my fleece pant leg and my entire body fell on my upper arm that was trying to catch me. I thought for a minute I broke something. It still hurts. We both sat crying on the kitchen floor and I felt in that moment how deeply my life sucks right now. After that I got Eliana calmed down, back in bed and then the baby was up again. I calmed the baby and got her asleep and then guess who was at my door again? Yup, Eliana. 1 1/2 hours later it was 3:30am and I finally got to go to sleep....well, until Eliana woke me up at 5am and 7am and 8am. And so it goes every night, all night.

Sleep deprivation does crazy things to us. I feel angry a lot, have no patience, waver between feeling depressed and feeling normal, take things too personally, and don't have any desire to do well, just about anything. Last Sunday I almost got in a car accident because I was so tired my brain actually forgot I was supposed to stop at a stop sign!

I guess we're in a holding pattern for now until we can see the ENT and get her surgery scheduled. Every day and every night I pray that THIS will be the better night and I'll get sleep and every night it's horrible.

Eliana has typically been a very easy, gentle-spirited child so all of this craziness is so out of character for her. Granted our family has had to endure an enormous amount of stress the last 3 months, but even so it's weird. Some days I feel like I don't even like her, although I still definitely love her. It's just hard when a little 3 year old is making your life feel like living hell. Amidst the non-sleeping, all the other responsibilities still exist. I still have 2 household's finances and groceries to take care of, medical bills and calls to deal with, not to mention 3 kids to raise including a baby. I have to believe that God sees me and loves and wants my life to be better than this.

Check out this list of the effects of sleep deprivation:

Physiological effects

Main health effects of sleep deprivation.^[5]

Minor dark circles, in addition to a hint of eye bags, a combination suggestive of minor sleep deprivation.

Generally, sleep deprivation may result in:^[6]^[7]

aching muscles^[8]
confusion, memory lapses or loss^[9]^[10]
depression^[9]
hallucinations^[9]
hand tremors^[11]
headaches
malaise
sensitivity to cold
bloodshot eyes
periorbital puffiness, commonly known as "bags under eyes" or eye bags
increased blood pressure^[12]^[13]
increased stress hormone levels^[13]
increased risk of diabetes^[13]
increased risk of fibromyalgia^[14]
irritability^[6]
nystagmus^{[disambiguation needed ]} (rapid involuntary rhythmic eye movement)^[15]
obesity^[13]
temper tantrums in children^[6]
yawning^[6]
symptoms similar to:

Crazy, right? Anyway, I know I'm a total Debbie Downer lately and I'm sorry. Trust me, this wasn't exactly how I pictured my life going.

Dave Ramsey killer deal!

2012-01-10T12:54:00.000-08:00

Going on right now- Buy the Dave Ramsey starter kit for only $45 ($120 is the usual) and get free shipping!

Click this LINK

Emotions On My Sleeve

2012-01-09T15:31:00.000-08:00

You know how prescriptions, shoot even cold medicines, have warnings, "don't operate heavy machinery while taking this medicine"? Sure seems like life should have similar stickers. "Don't try and blog while sorting through a crisis." "Don't try and have a normal life while dealing with cancer and care taking." "Don't expect your babies to behave normally when they don't get to have a present parent."

This is my life these days. I find myself wanting to blog, but I honestly live each day with tears just below the surface. My poor husband gets to see them, most of you never will. 2 1/2 months ago Craig's mom was diagnosed with stage 4 laryngeal cancer. Our life has not been the same since that fateful day, nor has hers obviously. Since then we have been handling ALL of their affairs. About every 3 days we bring groceries to my father in law who lives about 30 minutes away. We check to make sure he's taking all this meds, refill prescriptions if needed, and do whatever else he says is needed. This is typically stuff like "I can't get my tv to work!" and "I need my beard trimmed!" CRISIS to him, but just wearing to us after so many weeks of doing it. I handle all of their finances which includes paying regular bills and managing their money so as to be able to pay for 12 hours of caregiving a week for him and everything else, too. I handle all the applications to medicaid and finding assisted living facilities for them. Just last week I faxed 24 pages of stuff to medicaid- just for the financial assessment part. On top of all this we try to see Craig's mom in Seattle as much as we can and I do what I can to send her whatever she needs; clothes, books, crochet how-to's, etc. as well as write to her because she can't talk on the phone due to her tracheotomy.

Where do three kids and a marriage fit into all this? Plain and simple- they don't. We are coping and I'm tearfully praying that Jesus will protect our family from the damage that all this is doing to us. My children need their parents and I need my husband, but yet we feel the intense burden of other people relying on us for such basics as food. Craig and I do our best to protect our children from the crisis as it's our burden to bear, and not theirs.

On top of all of this, my wonderful brother in law (my sister-in-law's husband) passed away very unexpectedly on Christmas Eve morning. What a shock. It still doesn't seem real even after going to his wake on Saturday. He was a great man and it was so clear at his wake that his life touched countless people. He was generous and kind and cared about people. When Craig's accident happened and all of Craig's 'friends' left him to die and me to fend for myself in pajamas without a car or wallet- Jim came to our rescue. He was a big man with a gentle heart. He came and got me and gave me a huge hug and drove me the 1 1/2 hour drive to my parent's house like it was no big deal. He did that for anyone he could. He'd drop his life and help others. But now his life is over and as a family we are trying to deal and I find myself praying constantly for my sister in law. Jim was 36.

These are days of coping. I'm tired of crying and I'm tired of living in crisis. Yet there are no ways to change our current circumstances without harming another person's life. I'm sorrowful that Jim is gone, Craig's mom is battling cancer alone in Seattle, his sister is now a widow, and his step-dad spends his days in his wheelchair totally alone in his apartment. Some days it's incredibly overwhelming.

Our next step is getting my FIL into a facility, but there is a wait list so...we wait. Once that happens we'll need to clear out the apartment and that is no small feat. That's all I'll say about that but you get my drift. Basically we're a ways out from life feeling 'normal' again. So I find myself saying, "Lord, what do we do? How do I raise three kids and juggle homeschooling, Little League, laundry, meals, paying bills, etc......AND all the stuff we have to do for everyone else?"
Then there's all the cliche's. IE:
God never gives anyone more than they can handle
What doesn't break you makes you stronger

But as anyone that's ever dealt with anything like this knows, those cliches don't mean a hill of beans. It's just people trying to find the words to say when situations like these don't have words that fit. I get it. It's awkward and hard to see a loved one suffering and have no way to help them and not be sure what to say. We do appreciate prayers and friendship and NO DRAMA :)

Last week I was up til 3am 5 nights in a row. Only one night was because of the kids, the others were because I literally have that much to do after the kids go to sleep. 9pm comes and then my real work begins. Paying bills, filling out more paperwork, correcting schoolwork, load after load of laundry, etc. Craig is my partner for sure and works just as hard as I do, if not harder. But we are carrying the burden of 2 households,4 adults, and 3 kids and 2 of those adults have MAJOR health issues. The burden is heavy.

I try to cope by praying, remembering my blessings, saying no to things as much as my brain will let me, and trying to remember to love and hug my kids rather than being mad that they are acting out because they need ME. I'm not supermom. I'm just Diana. 28 and thoroughly overwhelmed most days and doing my best to trust that my Savior loves me and is carrying us through this. In many ways I am perfectly positioned to be given this burden. I have a background in finance, my brain is typically very organized, I'm a good multi tasker, a night owl, and medical crisis is nothing new to me.

I can't change my circumstances, but I can choose to trust my God. New Year's resolutions feel hollow in spite of everything else going on. But New Year's prayers seem to fit.
So, my prayers for 2012:

For my FIL to get moved into a facility asap and the apartment to be cleared out and gone through as quickly and smoothly as possible.

For Jacob to choose to live here long term as he is experiencing family, Jesus, school, siblings, and life in ways he never has and won't get to if leaves here.

For our Durango to sell. We don't want the payment anymore and we need a vehicle with more seats.

For God's will for my mother in law to happen swiftly, whatever that may be.

For my sister-in-law to experience healing and to feel how much Jesus loves her and will pursue her. He is a husband to the widow.

For God to clean up the mess of our life right now and give us another baby.

That we as a family would have the means to take a trip or go camping or do something outside of our everyday life to build memories this year and experience joy.

And as I pray every single day, "Lord, bind our family together. Protect our family from whatever satan hopes to accomplish in destroying us. Bring peace, unity, and contentment in our home. Protect our children from any harm. Bless Craig and give him continued favor at work. Expand his territory. Bless us with a baby and a car that will fit all of us."

My new venture

2011-12-31T15:03:00.000-08:00

What happened to Sparkly Granola? Well, I'm definitely still sparkly granola but have started a new business venture. I am The Vintage Farm Girl. I have vintage and vintage inspired scrappy tu tu's for sale on Facebook and Etsy! I will be adding other items as time allows but for now I'm working my way towards major arthritis cutting fabric like crazy and making tu tu's!

I don't know what the deal is, I just LOVE this fabric.

Birdhouses???? You better believe it.

This is more mod- but gonna be cute! Great for a less 'girly-girl' tutu and for the moms that don't like pink (it's ok, I forgive you).

That's me!!!!

Scrappy Tu Tu DIY

2011-12-28T00:34:00.000-08:00

What? More crafting? Insanity I tell you!
Saw this super darling tu-tu on Pinterest a few days ago and thought I should make it for my darling 3 year old. The pin on Pinterest was just a pic from an old Etsy sale, not a DIY, so I had to sort of figure it out myself. It was pretty easy, even for me. The whole thing took me about an hour, which isn't bad for all the cutting and tying of fabric I needed to do. This was one of my inspiration photos-

And i LOVE this one-

I had tons of fabric pieces that I scored at a friend's yard sale over the summer. All I had to do was spend a couple bucks on elastic for the waist band. Some people prefer ribbon, but I personally like elastic better. I'd rather not have to retie a tutu every time my daughter does a costume change or goes to the bathroom. Elastic she can do herself :)

My princess went to bed before I could measure her little belly so I borrowed a pair of her pants from the laundry basket to measure the waistband :)

I left a little extra so I could sew it like this and make it really strong. Use a sewing machine if you want, as you all know I don't know how to use one yet. Lol.

Next, get to work cutting your fabric pieces. For my skinny 3 year old I used 40 strips of fabric. They varied anywhere from 1 1/2 inches to 3 1/2 inches in width depending on what I had. I used pinking shears to help with the fraying. BUT, this skirt will still fray and isn't really recommended for machine washing and drying. I'll probably try it in the machine in a few days and see how it does. The fraying might just add to the shabby chic look.

I did my strips about 25 inches long so I could tie them in the middle. It's ok if your strips aren't all exactly the same. This is a "Scrappy Tu Tu" after all.

Then, just start tying. I didn't knot them at first, but went through later and knotted them real good as I saw they were getting loose just while I worked on it.

Notice the fabrics don't match? I think that's maybe part of the charm :)

Slide some over and squeeze more in!

So cute, right? Looks long, but I guess she'll grow into it. Dang it I should've measured her before she went to bed! haha. This is the 11 year old holding it for me. I promised him I wouldn't make him actually model it.

After mulling it over for about 3 hours I decided it was more fairy like with points, so I cut each strip into a point. This is such an incredibly easy and cheap craft and your princess will love it. I'll be adding a pic of mine in it tomorrow for sure! With cowgirl boots, what's not to love?

And, I'm thinking this great fabric combo for a western themed skirt-

Happy Crafting!

UPDATE:

Ok, here's my beauty in it....me thinks it's precious.

Oh man, if I could edit this and put a field behind her, so perfect. She does the best poses!

Yup, there's the field.

I love this picture of her. Carefree and confident. If only we women could feel this way every day of our lives.

She's saying, "I LOVE TURNING THE SWING!!!!"

Love this one, too.

Well, that's all folks!

Visit: www.vintagefarmgirlshop.etsy.com

and find The Vintage Farm Girl on Facebook

What the Holy Spirit Does In Us and Through Us

2011-12-27T09:31:00.000-08:00

WHAT THE HOLY SPIRIT DOES IN AND THROUGH US

1. The Spirit helps us when we are in precarious situations and need to bear witness(Mark
13:3,3; Luke 12:12)
2. The Spirit teaches and reminds us of what we need to know and remember. He is our
comforter, our advisor, our encourager, and our strength. He guides us in the way we
should go (psalms 143:10, John 14 - 16; Acts 9:3'1; Acts 13:2; Acts 15:28; I Cor. 2:9-
10; 1 John 5:6 - 8).
3. From the Spirit we receive power to be God's witnesses to the ends of the earth. It is .the
Spirit who draws people to the gospel, the Spirit who equips us with the strength·we need
to accomplish God's purposes. The Holy Spirit not only initially draws people to God
. the Father, but He also draws believers closer to Jesus (Acts I :8; Romans 8:26; Eph.
3:16). . .
4. By the power of the Spirit we put to death the misdeeds of the body. The Spirit sets us
free from sin, which we cannot get rid of on our Own. This is a lifelong process we
entered into, in partnership with the Spirit, when we first believed (Romans 8:2).
5. Through the Spirit we have received adoption as children, which leads us into intimacy
with the Father, instead of a relationship based on fear and slavery. The Spirit bears
witness to us that we are God's children (Romans 8: 15-16).
6. The Holy Spirit convicts people of sin. He does this both before we initially enter into
right relationship with God and as we journey through this life as believers (John 16:7 -
II; 1 Thess. 1:5).
7. The Spirit brings us life and freedom. Where the Spirit is, there is freedom, not bondage
or slavery. In our world that is plagued with death, this is a profound truth that points to
real hope (Romans 8: I 0-11; 2 Cor. 3: 17).
8. By the power of the Holy Spirit we abound with hope because our God is a God of hope,
who fills His children with all joy and peace (Romans 15:13).
9. As members of God's kingdom community, each of us is given a manifestation of the
Spirit in our lives for the purpose of the common good. We all have something to offer
because of what the Spirit gives to us (I Cor. 12:7).
10. The fruit of being led by the Spirit of God includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These attitudes and actions will
characterize our lives as we allow ourselves to be grown and molded by the Spirit. The
Spirit is our sanctifier (Gal. 5:22 - 23; 2 Cor. 3:18).
11. The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. When we don't know what to pray for or what
to do, He actually intercedes on our behalf. He gives us strength in the midst of uncertainty
and asks the Father to work according to His will (Rom. 8:26 -27).

My first Pinterest Craft :)

2011-12-26T23:45:00.000-08:00

Last week I finally joined the throngs hailing Pinterest as the best thing since sliced bread......and the throngs are not wrong. It is A M A Z I N G! What is it? An online bulletin board of ideas/pictures/recipes/DIY/quotes/etc. It makes crafting seem doable and ideas feel tangible. I love it. I have been collecting ideas and making my list of crafting items to find on sale and finally made something tonight; a headband holder made from a Quaker Oatmeal box! It is super darling.
I found this original PIN (what your ideas are called on Pinterest) and the pin lead me to the BLOG. Easy, right? I figured I needed an empty oatmeal box, fabric, hot glue gun, and any decorative stuff I wanted. Well, my only Quaker oatmeal box was brand spanking new, still sealed. I decided to dump it in a gallon ziploc bag with a notecard containing oatmeal directions. Who wants to wait 6 months for the oatmeal to run out? I didn't! Then I grabbed the fabric remnants and RIC RAC I scored at a friend's yard sale last summer and got to work. Also, thank you Kori for giving me my very first hot glue gun. And yes, I'm admitting I have never used a hot glue gun in my adult life. Weird, right? I can cook just about anything....but crafting stuff boggles my mind. I imagine it's like this; tell a person who never does anything but microwave frozen meals to make a honey white wine worchestershire reduction for roasted chicken (which is actually super easy and delicious!) and their eyes will glaze over......yup. Tell me crafting details and I feel similarly overwhelmed. But, nonetheless I am diving in!

These, dear friends, are called Pinking Shears. They help your fabric to not fray by cutting in a zig zag. Got these at Walmart for about $18 and they have a lifetime warranty (by Fiskars).

Alright, if you haven't yet, take a peak at the blog post I linked earlier- her instructions are simple and good. Now- look at these pics:

I cut out 2 squares (1 small, 1 large) in 2 different fabrics to make a fabric flower. This was my own idea- go me!

Ric rac edging along the lid. This is medium ric rac.

The bottom of the canister. A bit of glue gun mess. Hey, I did say it was my first time!

Under the lid.....ohhhhh look! The recipe is still readable!!!

On the inside.

I layered my 4 pieces of fabric (cut with pinking shears) and then bunched them up in the middle and started sewing them together...by hand as I haven't figured out a sewing machine yet. Yep, there's my 2nd confession. But I make a mean seared scallop. I'm just saying...I'm not totally helpless.

Then I sewed my fabric flower to the lid, right in the middle.

Kinda cute right? In the middle is a ric rac rosette. Just ric rac super glued and wrapped and wrapped and wrapped. Should've made the rosette like THIS....but again, I can't use a sewing machine yet :(

Ok, here it is! These are my 3 year old's headbands...well, the ones I can find and thus the reason why we needed this headband holder. Anyway, her headbands stay on here just fine. I imagine mine will also since her headbands fit me and vice versa.

Yay, I actually did something crafty!

Cinnamon and Applesauce Ornaments- DIY

2011-12-26T23:08:00.000-08:00

A few days ago our neighbors invited us over for homemade cookies and a fun afternoon of painting homemade ornaments. It was actually super fun and something I could see doing every year with the kids. I thought I'd share the recipe to make them :)

Christmas Ornaments (poke hole for ribbon)

1 Cup cinnamon

1 Cup applesauce

(you can easily increase the recipe- just keep the cinnamon and applesauce a 1 to 1 ratio)

Mix together into dough. Roll out to ¼ inch thickness. Cut out with cookie cutters. Bake at 225degrees for 1 hour. Cool. Paint. String with thread and hook on an ornament hook. Done :)

Aren't they cute? The kids loved this! What a fun memory. I wrote their name and the year with a sharpie on the back. As for the paint, any craft store (and even Walmart) has tons of bottles of colors for a couple bucks.

This is my snow globe, I think it sort of rocks.

Tunes :) and a quick update

2011-12-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

Is my blog slowly dying???

Lordy, I hope not. It's given me such a wonderful outlet for memory keeping, growth, communication, venting, and growing up over the last 2 years. Life lately has been a trip to a weird theme park. Not quite sure the 'theme' yet, but I'm pretty much over the rides.

Because I'd rather not blog about Medicaid, Assisted Living Facilities, radiation, and cancer....I'll instead leave you with this- MUSIC. I'm listening to Adele (specifically, Set Fire to the Rain) and I really love her voice and mood. I also really love Rihanna. Go figure right? For those that know me as a mommy now, if you could've seen me a decade ago you'd get it. I loved r&b and always thought I'd have dark skinned babies. It took quite a while for me to adjust to Craig and his KMPS Radio and country loving ways. Yup, married a very white guy!
Also, found my old recorded cd today. 3 songs that I did when I was 19. I think my voice has a lot more depth now, better control, and more variety so in some ways it's hard for me to listen to these songs. I also hear my voice holding back in every song. I can hit crazy notes and blow it out, but I held back on every song and that bugs me. Probably wasn't confident in myself enough to blow it out like I should've. But I appreciate the songs as they represent a part of my life and God willing someday I'll have the opportunity to record again!
Serenity and I Still Love You. There's a taste for ya!

Ok, off to finish a bacon, potato, swiss quiche for a mom's group tomorrow. Then gotta stuff diapers and hopefully catch up on Tori and Dean (did I mention I love them?). Pretty much I'm Tori and Craig is Dean....ok, well let's be honest I'm like 3 Tori's....but whatever :)

Will blog more again soon, I promise.

Another baby, another nursing strike

2011-11-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

As you may have noticed, this blog has been void of anything of real 'depth' for a while. Food posts are great, but of course the real stuff of life is just simmering under the surface. I've been trying to figure out how to deal with the many raw emotions I have right now and how to appropriately handle them. Blogging also leaves the very real challenge of sorting what to say and what not to say so as not to hurt the people I love at all.

On October 25th I was at a fro-yo place with the kids and some friends. I got home around 5 or 6pm and it looked like Craig had dropped his stuff and ran. I then noticed a missed call. He was at the ER with his mom. Several hours later the first diagnosis of cancer came. She was transported to Virginia Mason in Seattle the next day where a malignant tumor diagnosis was confirmed. As of a month ago it was Stage 4A, large cancerous tumor of the larynx. Within days she had surgeries to receive a tracheotomy and feeding tube. She cannot eat or breathe or talk through her mouth any longer. She is on a continuous 16 hour feed through her feeding tube because a surgery she had many years ago left her stomach unable to have a tube in it. Her tube is in her lower intestine.

It has been nearly a month since the first diagnosis. Our life has been a whirlwind. Many tears, a lot of stress, a lot of discovery, and trying to take things one step at a time. Craig's mom is now in a nursing home in Seattle that can handle her tracheotomy and feeding tube. She has chosen to not do the recommended surgery and instead will receive 7 weeks of chemotherapy. It's her decision.

I have been handling the finances, bills, and details. Craig's step-dad is wheelchair bound and still living in their apartment in Kitsap County. Craig and I rotate bringing him groceries and such every few days. We have a service that sends him a caregiver 3 hours a day to help with his special needs. He is not capable of doing much on his own. I have also been facilitating Medicaid applications and dealing with all of that. My FIL will be evaluated in a few weeks by Medicaid and then hopefully we can get him in the same facility as my MIL.

During all of this Craig is still working full time and trying to not miss anymore work than needed as he has no vacation or sick leave left. It costs about $100 every time we go to Seattle between ferry, parking, gas, etc on top of the cost of him not working.

In the midst of all this was the Holiday Bazaar for the mom's group I have been co-coordinating. It was Nov 12th. I noticed the Thursday before the bazaar that Evie wasn't nursing well. She wasn't interested and I admittedly was busy and I didn't offer it often enough. The day of the bazaar she only nursed a couple times and the same the day after. Then on Monday she flat out refused. She bit me 8 times! On Tuesday she'd just suck once then pull away and cry. I tried all day. That night I called my dear friend Katie, who is a wonderful certified lactation consultant. She told me what I sort of knew but didn't want to hear but needed to hear- when mom is too busy and not loving and giving attention to the baby, the baby will show their frustration however they can. I knew that was true. For a month almost, Evie had been relegated to playing on the floor while I spent 6-8 hours on the phone daily dealing with medicaid, the hospital, sorting out my FIL's care, etc. I was not there for Evie the way I should've been. And then add the bazaar on top of it- she was mad at me I'm sure.

There are also the physical complications of stress on nursing. Stress in itself can destroy a milk supply. Here's me with the heavy letdown issues all of the sudden not having enough milk. A large baby like mine can get very frustrated trying to get milk out of where it used to just pour but now only slowly drips. Stress can also change the flavor of your milk making it taste unfavorably. It's incredible how much stress harms our bodies!
I did wonder if her ears were bothering her, but with the other 10 ear infections she's had she would always nurse fine, she just wouldn't sleep. This was different. I brought her to the ped the next day just in case. She did have an ear infection again so we got another prescription. Our pediatrician was so gracious. There I was crying and explaining how hard our life was and the situation with Craig's mom and the stress of the bazaar and the burden I carry and she empathized and helped me. I love our pediatrician! She also told me that occasionally she does see a child this young go on a nursing strike and not get back to it. She said I needed to separate the nursing from loving her because I could still love her while not nursing her. For any mother who has nursed an extended period of time, I think you understand how interconnected mothering is with nursing. It's easy to think, "I can't wait til they're done nursing so I can have my boobs back and my independence," but wait til they are done; you'll miss it.
I think I just felt like SO much lately is out of my control and then the one thing I felt I had under control was no longer happening. It was awful and I knew I wasn't ready for Evie to be done nursing. I also felt hurt that it happened to me 2x! Some of you will remember 2 years ago when Eliana did the same thing to me. She was 13 months and quit nursing cold turkey (due to an illness) and even after pumping and trying for a MONTH, I could never get her to nurse again. I majorly grieved that. It was like a death in the family. So yeah, I just couldn't believe that it was happening to me, again!

I decided we'd try the antibiotics and I would hug and kiss and snuggle the dickens out of my little Evie-roo and see if i could woo her back. She fought me for about 24 hours and then all of the sudden just started nursing again. I noticed very quickly after giving her more attention how much happier she seemed. She'd snuggle her head on my shoulder, give me kisses, and just randomly laugh. It makes my heart feel very said to think how much each of my children have had to suffer. Some things we have no control over and they overtake our life at times. But the things I do have control over I am trying to act with courage and make choices to simplify life and my stress load to benefit my family. After lots of tears and prayers, Evie is nursing again normally. I'm so thankful.

For those that find this post while Googling 'Nursing Strike', let me give you some input:

Try nursing at night. Often a baby that is striking and won't nurse will nurse when half asleep or asleep. This will also keep your supply up. Nurse every couple hours if they'll do it. You can also co-sleep and sleep with your shirt off so they smell it and want.
Try taking a bath or shower with your baby. Skin on skin in a warm, comfortable, stress-free environment.
Wear your baby in a baby carrier so they are facing you on your chest (like a Moby or Ergo). Don't wear a bra or shirt. If you are like me and have older kids at home, wear a large button up shirt over it. The idea is they will feel safe and loved and when hunger strikes, your breasts will be easy access.
If you can, pump to keep up your supply. Be wary about giving it to them in a sippy cup though. Remember, you want them to come back to you for it :)
Cut out other foods mostly. When baby is hungry enough, they will nurse.
Make sure there is not a physical ailment preventing them from wanting to nurse; teething pain, ear infection, thrush, etc.

I think it's important to remember that babies under 15 months typically are not 'self-weaning'. It is called a nursing strike and in most cases if you stick with it your baby will go back to nursing.

My little nursling just woke from nap and it's too hard to write a blog while I hear a tearful, "mama mama!", so off I go to get her.

There is much on my heart but it will have to wait for another day.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends! Life is short and uncertain. Tell those you love that you love them and are thankful for them.

Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings

2011-11-14T23:41:00.000-08:00

(forgot to take a pic, so here it is in tupperware for tomorrow's lunch :) )

My family loves this meal!!

Diana's Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings

Feel free to substitute any ingredients you wish, and increase/decrease amounts for the size of your family!

4 boneless/skinless chicken breasts (frozen works fine)

2 tablespoons of butter

2 (10.75 oz) can of cream of chicken soup

3 1/2 cups of chicken broth

1 large sweet onion, finely diced

1 1/2 cups corn

3-4 stalks celery, diced

4-5 large carrots, diced

3/4 tsp thyme

1/4 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp sea salt

Directions:
For the dumplings use 2 large cans of Pillsbury Buttermilk Biscuits (non-flaky)

1. EXCLUDING THE BISCUITS, put the chicken in the bottom of the crockpot and top with all other ingredients in any order.
2. Cover and cook on LOW for 8 hours or HIGH for approximately 5 hours.
3. About an hour before serving, remove chicken and pull into pieces. Return the chicken to soup mixture. Tear each biscuit into thirds and place on the top of the soup. Cover and cook until the dough is no longer raw in the center.

If biscuits are soggy because your crockpot was too full: remove lid, let cook another 10-15 minutes.
Serve in bowls.

(c) Diana Frazier 2011

Crockpot Apple Butter

2011-10-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

Approximately 3 lb. apples ( I actually just filled the crockpot, which might've been closer to 10lbs) peeled, cored, and chopped in food processor
3 cups sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. allspice
1/2 tsp. cloves
Dash of salt

Put raw, cold apples in a food processor in small batches so they look 'chopped' but not turned into apple sauce.

Place the apples in a slow cooker. In a medium bowl, mix the sugar and other seasonings. Pour the mixture over the apples in the slow cooker and mix well.

Cover and cook on high 1 hour.

Reduce heat to low and cook 9 to 11 hours, stirring occasionally, until the mixture is thickened and dark brown.

Uncover and continue cooking on low 1 hour. Stir with a whisk, if desired, to increase smoothness.

If apple butter has too much liquid, remove lid and cook on high until thickened. Stir often as butter thickens to prevent scorching.

Store in refrigerator for up to 6 weeks. Freeze for longer storage.

Variation: For a less sweet apple butter, substitute 1 cup honey for the sugar.

To can the apple butter as I am doing, pack into hot jars leaving 1/4-inch headspace and process in a boiling water bath for 15 minutes.

The apples, peeled and cored. The Pampered Chef peeler/corer is totally worth the money. I happily scored mine for $2.99 at Goodwill :)

Sort of looks like yard mulch. Thank you Jesus for food processors!

LOTS of simmering. It gets darker and darker and sweeter and wow it's good! You want it a spreadable consistency.

Pretty jars ready to go in the canner.....

Alright, done!

Barbie Cake How To

2011-10-16T14:26:00.000-07:00

What you'll need: oven safe bowl, 4 8" cake pans, 3 cake mixes, lots of icing, icing tips and bags, food coloring, spatula and a Barbie :)

I decided to make Eliana a Barbie Cake and have been planning and trying to figure out the best way to do it.
I watched a few YouTube videos on it and read some random stuff blogged about it. There was one piece of info I couldn't seem to find anywhere and that is "how long are Barbie's legs?" Assume here that you don't have a Barbie in your possession yet, as I did not. So here's the answer and it's worth $$$......7 1/4 inches!

After reading and researching I decided to bake 2 8" round cakes (takes one box) and one box of mix in an oven safe bowl (for the shape of the skirt). After baking them I realized they wouldn't be quite tall enough so I made another 2 8" rounds. As far as the oven safe bowl, I found it at TJ Maxx a couple years ago for $7, but Pampered Chef also sells them. It allows you to have a skirt shaped cake without having to trim and cut up a cake. I made the cakes Wednesday night so they could chill in the fridge for a couple days.
Friday night once I got the girls down to sleep I got to work decorating. I had a recipe for a buttercream icing so I whipped that up. But, the recipe didn't work and it was just a hard ball of icing in my Kitchenaid. I tried adding more milk but then the taste wasn't right either. It ended up just feeling gritty but being too runny :( Fail! I had the cakes out of the fridge on the counter ready to be dirty-iced so I had to think quick and just grabbed two Pillsbury cream cheese frostings from the pantry (thank you couponing!).
Dirty Icing a Cake: To dirty ice a cake is to ice a cake in such a way that you don’t get crumbs all over your completed cake. You just coat it with icing and BAM, good to go. You won’t have little pieces of cake in your icing. The dirty icing layer goes UNDER the pretty layer :)

Ok, let's rewind real quick...after baking and cooling my cakes I Saran wrapped them and put them in the fridge. When it was time to decorate I took off the saran and cut the top off each 8" round so they would be nice and flat. Keep the scraps covered in the fridge and you can make cake balls with them later. I then layered the 8"rounds starting with a Funfetti bottom layer, then lemon, then funfetti, then lemon and then the top funfetti layer that was bowl shaped. I put wax paper strips under the cake to keep the pedestal clean (the strips get pulled out later). I wrapped Barbies legs tightly in Saran wrap and put her in the cake. I just gently shoved her in, but you may need to cut a small hole for her. Then I dirty iced in between each cake layer and around the whole cake.

I didn't need to trim much, but just kind of evened up the whole thing. Make sure you use a serrated knife for any cake trimming.

Yup, see I tried to use the failed buttercream, but it was just too runny. The white is the cream cheese frosting that saved the day.

You want the whole skirt covered.

Already starting to look dress like, right?

Alright, how the heck did I get it so smooth!? I learned a cool little trick from Betty Crocker on Youtube. Take a piece of paper and standing behind the cake, slide an edge of the paper up the front of the cake cake, from bottom to top. It will catch any uneven icing and make it look super pretty.VERY easy to do. Notebook paper is a bit too thin, but printer paper or construction paper would work great.

After it was dirty iced I put the cake back in the fridge to let it harden up while I made more icing.

And see the crockpot full of apples? We actually filled two and had applesauce simmering all night :)

Now you might think I was "born in a bakery" and the reality is, my mom was, not me! I am privileged to come from a line of bakers (Sluys Bakery) and chefs, but there are a few things I never really learned how to do; canning, making pies/pie crusts, and cake decorating. I am learning those now as an adult and it's a tad intimidating. My mom covered all the other bases which is pretty darn good.

Craig had the good idea to practice icing on a bowl :) I tried out different tips and figured out what I wanted to do.

Epic fail on the bows. Lol!

Messy and horrible first tries at things but much better here than on the actual cake!

After feeling relatively confident with my icing skills I got to work making a different buttercream frosting recipe. I decided to trust the cake professionals and used a recipe from Wilton Cakes. Find that recipe here. I have to say I was not thrilled about making a recipe with shortening, but it was tried and true with tons of reviews and it whipped up creamy, smooth, and gorgeous! It is VERY sweet though so I'm glad I had a cream cheese dirty iced layer to temper it.

I added red food coloring drops until the pink was right and then got to work icing the cake.

So pretty! After this I did the 'paper smoothing' trick but forgot to take a picture :)

Alright, time to ice! I wanted to make her a princess Barbie, so I decided to give her a Disney fairytale ballgown skirt. I used a Wilton 32 star for the bottom ruffle and a Wilton 16 star for the outline on the sides of the ballgown. The dots were a small circle tip, can't remember the #. If you make a mistake and need to get the icing off you can carefully scrape it off with a toothpick. Toothpicks are also handy if little bits of shortening or butter clog your icing tip.

Alright, filling in the orange stars (#16) on the ballgown.

Voila!

The silver balls are called silver dragees and they are edible. I would check Michaels or Joanns for them. I used a small round tip to ice her necklace on and then just placed a dragee.

This is a ballerina Barbie, $6 at Walmart. She comes with a plastic dress bodice. I got her thinking the bodice would be super hard, but after all the time spent on the skirt I actually think the bodice would be super easy! Next time I'll just get a naked Barbie :)

Yeah, slightly crooked....oh well!

Yay, done! Worked on it til 1am :)

We put the candles in the front.

Pretty and tasted good, too! It's super tall so you can actually serve it in two sections. Each slice is 2 pieces, the top half and bottom half.

Eliana Turns 3!

2011-10-16T13:12:00.000-07:00

My sweet Eliana turned 3 last Wednesday. The years are flying by and it makes her getting older so bittersweet. She is such a tender, gentle spirit with a great sense of humor and I love every day with her!

Minutes old. She was such a beautiful newborn!

3 days old, heading home. Every piece of clothing we brought was too big. She was so thin!

First smile caught on camera.

Little skinny minny. Poor girl needed more time in mama :(

The morning of her 3rd birthday!

Heading out to get birthday Fro-Yo.

My sweet princess <3

Eliana is so kind and thoughtful. When she's eating something she'll say, "who made this for me?" I'll say, "mommy made that for you." She replies, "oh, you did? Thanks for making this for me mama!"

She loves to pray for dinner. Last night she prayed, "Dear Jesus, thank you for a wonderful day. Thank you for my happy birthday and for my friends."

Evangeline has yet another ear infection and has been in a lot of pain this week. There's been several times that I've heard Elly praying for her little sister, "Dear Jesus, help Evie feel better and help her get all better." What a great heart she has!

When Elly bumps into me she's quick to say, "I'm so sorry mama. I didn't mean to bump into you!" And then she'll ask about 5 times if I'm ok :)

We still sing Jesus Loves Me every night before bed and then we pray with her. She often asks me to tell her The Story of Elly. It goes like this, "Mommy and daddy wanted a baby sooooo bad! We prayed and prayed and cried and cried. Then God said, I will give you baby Elly and He put you into mommy's tummy. Mommy and daddy said, YAY!!! When Elly was all done getting ready she came out of mommy's tummy and mommy got to hold Elly and nurse her. We are SO happy that God gave you to us." She just beams the whole time during this story. Without a doubt, Eliana is so wanted and special in this family.

Jack O'Lanterns!

2011-10-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

My blog has been sleepy lately and that's because life has been anything but!

A few weeks ago Craig and Jacob went on a Royal Rangers (like a Christ centered Boy Scouts) father-son campout. They had a huge amount of fun but also unfortunately had a too close encounter with a hornet's nest. Craig was stung about a dozen times and Jacob 3 or 4 times. When they came home on a Sunday they both entered the house with their left eye nearly swollen shut. No kidding. I thought, "what the????? And why didn't Craig mention they both got punched!" Craig said they woke up Sunday morning both looking like that and feeling much worse than they did on Saturday when the stings actually happened. Weird. Things progressively got worse for Craig. He looked worse and worse and the bee stings, all over his body and head, continued to swell, redden, and get more itchy. It was terrible! Jake's also wasn't improving much although we'd been icing the stings and giving plenty of Benadryl.

Here's the selfish bummer for me- that weekend was also the Moms and More Berry Crisp sale. That means I spent all day Friday [with a group of great women] preparing, baking, and packaging 100 berry crisps. Then I had the kids all day Saturday alone. Then Sunday I sang on the worship team in the morning and sold berry crisps when I could. I was SO looking forward to Craig coming home and helping me and giving me some relief. Between the bake sale, worship team, and parenting alone, I was wiped. So then the boys walk in the door looking like a total mess and yes I felt bad for them but I also felt bad for me. There goes my relief! It took almost a whole week for Craig to get better. He couldn't even go to work on Monday it was that bad. He was just so out of it and quite frankly looked really bad. His swollen face actually reminded me of how he looked after his accident. That was hard to see. One time I actually started crying after looking at him. Something in my brain went, "Holy crap. Craig. Accident." That trauma lives under the surface in different layers depending on the day. I think in my exhaustion it wasn't buried very far that day. By midday Monday Craig and Jacob hadn't really improved at all so we sent them both to the drs. That's a hard choice for us because we don't have insurance for Craig and me. Craig's appointment cost us $150 :( Basically he was told that yes his severe reaction is pretty normal with that many hornet stings and it would be a good idea for him to take a prescription that is stronger than Benadryl and has something to help with infection also. The Dr likened the stingers to using unclean hyperdermic needles. Whatever is on the surface of your skin and also the needle get shoved into you making the swelling and pain worse. Jacob was told the same thing and also given a prescription. What a crazy week that was!

Since then we've been busy with homeschooling, Royal Rangers, Moms and More, choir practice, worship practice, Marriage Small Group, and learning to can. Since my first canning adventure I have also made 1 batch of blackberry freezer jam, another batch of apple pie filling, and 2 batches of crockpot applesauce which I then can.

Crockpot Applesauce!!

Very easy. The hardest part is peeling and coring apples which is pretty darn easy with the Pampered Chef peeler/corer Craig found at Goodwill last week for $2.99! The recipe link is great. My change is that I peel them first and I don't put in the orange juice. Once they are cooked very soft I just mix with a wooden spoon until fairly smooth but still lumpy. Then fill quart jars with 1/2 inch headspace and give a 30 minute hot water bath in the canner. Ohhh, I'm talking canning lingo!!! Yay me :) The applesauce is really good and sugar free. Eliana LOVES it.

Here's my beautiful apples packed into jars and awaiting their sauce. These apples all came from trees on our farm. LOVE it! I was just thinking today how much God blessed us by giving us this big home on lots of property with amazing fruit we get to use :) There were many dark days we never thought we'd ever be in a place like this. We are thankful.

The amazeballs sauce. Totally delish! Here's my recipe.

All 7 jars sealed and I didn't break any. YAY! Craig asked, why does the recipe only make enough for 7 jars when it takes 2 jars to make a pie? Good question! Most canners only hold 7 quart jars :)

These jars are so pretty in person. You can see the fresh apples, but also the cinnamon-y goodness of the filling. Awesome.

It often feels like the days pass in a blur for us and like 3 or 4 days go by before I really get to see or talk to my husband. I hate that. Last week he worked a lot. Wednesday night he got home and had to leave 20 minutes later because of an issue on a job and subcontractor not answering their phone. That meant I had to take all 3 kids to our Wednesday night stuff by myself. It was not a good day. I feel like something has to give and we need to start weeding out the important stuff and things that are not so important. But it's hard when it all feels important!

Today we intentionally had a really fun family day. We went to church then to Central Market with my family to pick out pumpkins and eat pizza. Then we took the kids home and put the girls down for naps. MIRACULOUSLY Evie slept 3 hours in her crib. Totally unheard of! I was able to clean, sort, organize and get stuff done I normally can never get to. When the kids awoke we carved pumpkins. Craig did one for him and Elly, Jake did one, and I peeled and cored apples to make another batch of applesauce. Evie happily played and snacked in her highchair in the center of the action :) As far as he could remember this was Jacob's first time ever to carve a pumpkin. He was excited about it all week. We all had so much fun just hanging out and doing something together. Elly would scoop all the guts out of her pumpkin, put them all back in, scoop them all out....over and over. Kept her happy and busy. She kept saying, "this is so much fun!" I also cleaned and dried the seeds and roasted them. I did one batch with butter and sea sealt and then another batch with cinnamon sugar, pumpkin pie spice, salt, and a touch of oil. Very cool!
We had planned to make caramel apples as well but it got late and we lost steam so that's on the agenda for tomorrow. Organic Jonagold apples are on sale for $1.48 at Central Market and they look delicious! And yes, I have tons of apples out in my yard but they really aren't big enough to make beautiful caramel apples. So we spent $4 to get pretty apples :)

They are such buddies :)

Covered the table with paper bags the same way my mom used to. Makes clean up much easier.

Right here she was saying over and over, "this is so much fun!"

Dad giving a tutorial.

Little miss "I napped 3 hours for the first time EVER" :)

Yeah, I had to take about 6 pictures to get one with them all looking. Ha!

My job: peeling and coring. I think these apples are a Granny Smith type. Very firm skin and flesh and quite tart.

hehe

Happy snap!

Elly said, "how about a picture of us hugging, daddy?"

(The back of Jake's- ghosts)

Jacob is really loving building memories and traditions here. I consider it all 'normal', but to him it's new and I'm very glad he's getting to see this kind of life. He's already super excited about Thanksgiving, cutting down our own Christmas tree, decorating gingerbread houses, etc. I had him start writing his Christmas list today. We do this stuff every year, but he's never been able to be a part of it until now. Cool beans.

I can't stand to be defeated in the kitchen!

2011-10-02T02:25:00.000-07:00

I have been pondering canning for a while now and have wanted to do it but the need for jars, lids, ingredients, etc. has held me back. We have several great apple trees on our farm and the boys have been picking for me. I've been slowly collecting quart jars at Goodwill and borrowed my moms canner and rack today for hot water bath canning. I have had a fear of it but yet wanted to conquer it! I decided to make apple pie filling since it's something we can use and also give away as gifts. I found a recipe on Allrecipes.com and realized I needed a couple more things so off to Goodwill we went. I found the 2 more jars I needed and Craig found a Pampered Chef apple peeler/corer for $2.99! We also found a separate apple slicer and corer for 69 cents. We had an incredible steak dinner and then went to work on our first canning mission. The girls were asleep for the night so it was just Craig, Jacob, and me. Jacob manned the peeler and Craig used the corer/cutter. We could have just done it all with the Pampered Chef one but I wanted the apple slices thicker. I got to work on the spiced syrup for the apples and we were moving right along! Here's where the problem came in to play: once we'd packed the apples into the jars, poured syrup over them, put on the lids and rings.....I put them into boiling water in the canner. If you've canned before this is where you go "oh no!" If not, let me tell you- 5 of the the 7 jars broke. Apple pie filling filled the canner. I was so sad. All that work and time and the ruined jars. And mostly I really hate anything in the kitchen defeating me! I felt like the canner won. Now as to why I put lukewarm jars into boiling water....it's a mystery. Somehow I misread/misheard/misunderstood and didn't quite get the part that the water should be hot but NOT boiling. Big mistake and a major lesson learned.

By this time it was about 11:30pm and we'd sent Jake to bed. Craig knew this would eat at me and bother the heck out of me so he went to Walmart to get more jars. I worked like a mad woman peeling apples and getting the sauce ready. I thought to myself, "you little apples will not beat me!" I wanted to have them all peeled and ready by the time Craig got home. He hit a line of 10 people at Walmart (surprise, surprise) so I actually was all ready when he got home :) 12:15am rolls around and in walks Craig with jars, orange Fanta, and mallow pumpkins. My savior!

We got the 2nd round of jars packed with apples, the syrup poured over and the lids and rings on. I very cautiously lowered them into the hot but NOT boiling water and prayed, "Dear Jesus please don't let these jars break!" And voila, no cracking! Phew. The burner temp was at a 5 (med) so I cranked it up to 8 to get it boiling. Took about 20 minutes and maybe I could have put it on high but I was so nervous of cracking the jars I didn't want to take any chances. At this moment they are finishing their 20 minute hot water bath. After that I will take them out and let them cool for 12 hours. Hopefully every single lid will be sealed correctly. If not, I'll be making apple pie tomorrow!

So, here's my recipe, a modified version of the too boring Allrecipes.com one:

(Makes 7 Quart jars)

Ingredients

4 1/2 cups white sugar
1 cup cornstarch
1 Tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon allspice
2 teaspoons salt
10 cups water
3 tablespoons lemon juice
6 pounds apples

Directions

In a large pan, mix sugar, cornstarch, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and allspice. Add salt and water and mix well. Bring to a boil and cook until thick and bubbly. Remove from heat and add lemon juice.

Sterilize canning jars, lids and rings by boiling them in a large pot of water.

Peel, core, and slice apples. Pack the sliced apples into hot canning jars, leaving a 1/2 inch headspace.

Fill jars with hot syrup, and gently remove air bubbles with a plastic knife.

Put lids on and process in a water bath canner for 20 minutes.

Done! Pretty simple right? I did taste the filling and it's very good. My apples are a tad on the sweet side, but this recipe would be great with a more tart apple.

Ok, now my jars are on the counter and cooling. Zero broke this time so I have 9 quart jars of apple pie filling! YAY! I plan to make blackberry jam very soon and also apple sauce. I think and hope that the more I can the more confident I'll feel doing it.

Time for pics! This is where the apples begin:

We have a few trees like this on the property, but this one is closest and therefore our favorite :)

How sweet is this pic? Father daughter cuddling under the apple tree in matching Carhartt overalls :)

The boys working on the apples.

Sugar syrup on the left, canning pot on the right.

Proof I was in fact there.

They are so beautiful! All packed and ready for the canner. Also, another lesson learned- don't transport them in the rack. Put the rack in the pot and bring the jars to the rack :)

Gorgeous apple pie filling!

Bringing the water to a boil.

The lone 2 jars that survived my first attempt at canning. Thankfully there are now 9 jars on the counter :)

Chop-Suey!

2011-09-19T23:51:00.000-07:00

What the heck is that? Roadkill? A toupe?

That is 9" of my hair ready to be donated to Pantene Beautiful Lengths !They collect the hair and have them made into wigs for cancer patients/survivors. I have it in a ziplock bag like some kind of stalker or serial....yeah, you get the point. It'll be mailed off this week and will go to someone very deserving of a little kindness :)

I decided to do an inverted bob, thought not as drastic as Victoria Beckham because although her hair in fanflippintastic, its slightly unrealistic in unkeep and work for a non-celebrity mom such as myself. Kimberly Caldwell was also part of the inspiration:

They both have gorgeous hair.

A very sweet friend with an infant and who is also pregnant, graciously let me come over tonight and she cut my hair. That means I got to go kid free since the little girl's were in bed already. Heaven, right???

Wanna see what we did????

Ok, here's the before:

Pretty much just long and plain. I kept it virgin since you can't donate hair with any bleaching. I haven't dyed it in almost 3 years actually. However, it was very short about 1 1/2 years ago and it grows like my sweet peas, fast!

This was me January 2010 (shortly before I got pregnant with Evangeline).

This was me tonight 9/19/2011. Long right? Told you it grows fast!

Drumroll please!!!!

Getting ready to cut the 2nd pontytail off!

And just like that, it's gone :)

We discussed bangs or no bangs quite a bit and decided I might as well just do it since I just cut off 9 inches of hair!

Here it is:

Pear White Chocolate Blackberry Crisp with Streusel Topping

2011-09-17T21:21:00.000-07:00

*Your white chocolate will be chopped and mixed in with the streusel, I was figuring out the best way to do it in this pic :)

Pear White Chocolate Blackberry Crisp with Streusel Topping
By: Diana Frazier

2-4 ripe pears, sliced (no need to peel)
6 cups fresh blackberries, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup tapioca
3 cups sugar
2 cups flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup butter plus 2 Tbsp, room temperature
1/2 cup white chocolate chips, chopped (more if you want it super sweet)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter sides and bottom of 9x13 glass baking dish.

Place sliced pears in the bottom of the baking dish, covering the bottom.

Put blackberries in a bowl, sprinkle with 1 Cup of the sugar, add cinnamon, tapioca, and mix well. Pour over the pears.

In a separate bowl, stir together flour, white chocolate, and remaining 2 Cups sugar. Using a fork or pastry cutter, cut butter into flour until crumbly. Cover the pears and berries with flour mixture. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes (I actually did almost an hour). Serve with vanilla ice cream or a dollop of sweetened whipped cream.

Homeschooling: Week 1

2011-09-16T22:06:00.000-07:00

On Monday we began our brand new venture of homeschooling Jacob for his 6th grade year. I was up late Sunday night making sure the lesson plan was ready to go...I have a feeling this is how I'll spend Sunday evenings :) I decided to use the same lesson plan format my mom used with my brother and me. It's simple, but clear and easy for me to write it out so he can follow it. If you'd like to have it, leave your email in the comments requesting the lesson plan and I'll send it to you.

My mom actually saved everything from my entire 6th grade year. I had a few good laughs reading the stuff I wrote. I wrote a fact and opinion piece on Special K cereal. The facts were from the box like, it has X amount of calories, the box is blue, white, and red, etc. My opinions were, "It does not taste very good." "It is too healthy." LOL
For handwriting I wrote a letter to Mariah Carey at a fictional address. So funny!

This week Jacob did spelling, math, English, handwriting (aka cursive), science, home economics, history, Bible, reading, and writing. We will add in music, government, geography, business economics, language, etc as time goes on.

What materials are we using?
Bob Jones University for English
Modern Curriculum Press for math
Spelling Workout
A Reason for Handwriting for handwriting and cursive
Sower Series for history for now. I have other stuff we'll do as well.
Backyard Scientist and lots of other misc, very fun stuff for science.

I am blessed to have an entire hutch FULL of books we can use. My mom saved everything from homeschooling us 20 years ago. I just grabbed the stuff that's appropriate for a 6th grader. The above first four links were things that we purchased.

Jacob works on the list on his lesson plan for the day, asking questions anytime he has one and I sit with him periodically to teach new concepts and that sort of thing. This week was a lot of review and figuring out what he knows or needs to learn still. English is a strength for him definitely. This week was very in depth with subjects, predicates, coordinating conjunctions, sentence structure, etc and he caught on quickly and did well. Math was a review of the basics; addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, etc. Once we got past subtraction he had a tougher time. We'll be working a lot on math and the multiplication tables. He is doing well at handwriting. He says he likes the book this year and that it's easier to understand and learn the letters than the book he had at school last year. Yay! The spelling book is great so far. It took him a bit of time as spelling is not a super strength of his, but with time he will do well.

History, particularly American History, seems to be majorly lacking in his knowledge repertoire. I feel like that's just sad since he's been in American public schools for the last 5 years. He told Craig and me that George Washington was the 2nd President and not a Founding Father. My heart sank. American public schools have failed him on that one! I LOVE history, so we'll be making sure to catch him up and get him excited about history as well. This past week we studied Christopher Columbus. Craig says I should do George Washington next week, and that's not a half bad idea, ha!

I'm pretty proud of our first science experiment since it's the first one I've ever had to teach and I put it together myself. My goal was to teach him a scientific principle and also make him aware of a major catastrophic event. So here it is:

Experimenting in the Kitchen- Oil and Water

Watch several videos about the BP oil spill. We watched one showing the underwater footage and a couple showing the damage to land and animals.
Talk about what caused the oil spill, what was done to remedy it (ha, that's a joke!) and what the resulting devastation was.

1)Smear a little butter on a plate (let your child do it). Hold the plate under the cold tap. Does the water make the plate clean? Does the water mix with the butter?
2) Add a little dishwashing liquid to the butter and mix it in with your fingers.
3)Hold the plate under the tap again. What happens this time? Does the water still roll off the butter?
4)Dishwashing liquid helps water to mix with things better than it can on it's own. This is how it helps to make things clean, such as the animals affected by the oil spill.
Cleaning Birds- "Sea-birds can get covered in spilled oil, which water cannot wash off by itself. People use a cleaner like blue Dawn dishwashing liquid to remove the oil."

We talked a bit more in depth about why oil and water don't mix on their own and how the soap acts as a medium between the two allowing them to mix. I feel that overall it was a very good experiment. First of all, he had no idea a huge oil spill had even happened and second, he really seemed to understand. He liked how the water just ran off his finger with the butter still on it. I told him that was how it was for the poor birds caught in the oil. You'd think that it wouldn't be a problem for them to get clean since they live on the water, but the oil makes a waterproof coating and they cannot get clean by themselves.
______________________________________________________________________

We're really having to work on keeping him focused on what he is doing. I don't know how he could've possibly paid attention in a classroom with 20 kids when he can't pay attention in a quiet room with just me. It's mind boggling. I'm starting to understand why he was so desperate to homeschool and how he didn't know George Washington was the 1st President. It's like this, Jacob says, "So, the principle is i before e except after...oh and that leaf on the window is kind of a weird color.....c, right? So I need to switch the lett.....oh and, um, oh, um, and wanna read a story I wrote? Well, actually I need to write it. I just thought of it."
Not kidding. All day. I feel like a kid like that would just get chewed up and swallowed in a public school system. His math and history deficiencies would just get worse and he'd continue learning only half of what is being taught. He's too distracted to catch the other half. I'm glad that I can give him one on one time and can hopefully teach him the art of being focused and finishing a ~~page~~, actually I'd be happy with a finished thought at this point :) He is incredibly bright. Brain space and intelligence are clearly not the issue. He's doing better with subjects and predicates than many adults would and he can clearly articulate and write down what he's learning in history. It's an issue of distractedness and I'm sure we'll be working on it all year. I'm keeping things as hands on as I can to help with the distraction issue.

Last night Jacob did a science experiment with Craig, this time from The Backyard Scientist. It was about surface tension and making a boat go with soap power. So fun!

First, we had a large cooler filled with water.

Then we had empty milk cartons cut in half to make the 'boats'.

First, Jacob put the 'boat' down with nothing on it to see what would happen.

The boat floated, but didn't propel forward.

Then our trusty blue Dawn made another scientific appearance. Jacob placed a drop of Dawn at the back of the boat and put it back in the water.

Amazingly, the boat lunged forward and went all the way across and even turned around at the end. It was pretty incredible. Jacob said, "WOW, THAT'S SO COOL. We really made soap power!!!" I believe Craig and I both sighed relief that the experiment actually worked. Lol. Craig went into detail with Jacob about surface tension and how and why it worked and why it didn't work without soap. Jacob wrote his 'observations' and 'solutions' in his binder in the 'science' section. It was fun!

If you are looking for fun, out of the box ways to teach science, I highly recommend checking out The Backyard Scientist.

I did home economics with Jacob today. We made chicken soup with rotisserie chicken, mixed wild rice, quinoa, carrots, celery, onions, and herbs (broth based). I didn't use a recipe, which is pretty much my norm, but told Jacob next time we'll use a recipe so he can learn how to do that, too. I cook by 'feel', same as my mom and he'll learn to cook that way, too. Don't get me wrong, I can easily read a cookbook, I just like to go by feel. Same way I like to sing :) Making the soup allowed me to teach him how to stir veggies, why we use olive oil, what simmering is, how to make broth, how to measure properly (yes, I let him use measuring cups even without a recipe), how to separate chicken from bones/tendons/cartilage/etc, etc. He loves learning to cook and I'm glad to teach him. There is something so sad about children not learning to cook or doing things hands on. My mom was an excellent teacher to my brother and me and that is why we both love cooking and being in the kitchen. It takes a certain confidence in the kitchen for someone to feel comfortable to try new things, cook without a recipe, etc. That confidence comes from practice and someone teaching and encouraging. When he got here Jacob had never made anything in the kitchen before. I told him putting cold cereal in a bowl or microwaving a Hot Pocket don't count :) He is learning a lot and his future wife will thank me someday!

So, yup, it was a great first week!

Paula Deen's Blackberry Crisp

2011-09-16T20:46:00.000-07:00

Ok friends, THIS is a good recipe! Craig said he wanted to eat the whole darn thing.

4 Cups fresh blackberries, or frozen, thawed and drained well (I used fresh)
2 Cups sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 Cup all purpose flour
1/2 Cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature
Vanilla ice cream or sweetened whipped cream, for serving

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter sides and bottom of 2 1/2 qt casserole dish.

Put blackberries in a bowl, sprinkle with 1 Cup of the sugar, add cinnamon, and mix well. In a separate bowl, stir together flour and remaining 1 Cup sugar. Using a fork or pastry cutter, cut butter into flour until crumbly. Pour sugared berries into prepared pan, and cover with flour mixture. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes (I actually did almost an hour). Serve with vanilla ice cream or a dollop of sweetened whipped cream.

Labor Day Weekend

2011-09-05T23:13:00.000-07:00

We found some pretty good deals at Goodwill this weekend! Canning jars (.20 each!), brand spankin' new Sanita clogs all silver and pretty and $100 on Zappos.com.....

also Gap and Gymboree kid's clothes, Columbia men's clothes, and adorable Halloween costumes.

We also scored finding Jacob a camo Carhartt jacket for $15. That will be awesome this fall and winter here on the Farm. We thought we'd accidentally taken crazy pills and then travelled to another universe today as Goodwill was extremely busy and LOUD and just generally felt like a circus. Or maybe like we were the chimpanzees on exhibit at the zoo. But we braved it and found some good deals. I'm still recovering.

We spent the early evening hanging out in the yard and picking blackberries.

This is my dear, sweet Eliana (almost 3 years old) riding her Tractor in TWO tu-tu's! She is amazing and daily cracks me up.

I made my 28th blackberry pie (not really, but probably getting close) and I think this might've been the best one yet! I changed a few recipes to make this one MINE :)

Diana's Blackberry Pie:

Ingredients

5 cups fresh blackberries

3/4 cup white sugar

1/4 cup Minute Tapioca

Pastry for the top and bottom of a 10"pie

2 Tbsp butter

1 tablespoons milk

1/4 cup white sugar

Directions

Combine 5 cups berries with the sugar and tapioca. Mix well, but gently as to not break the berries. Spoon the mixture into an unbaked pie shell. Drop pieces of the 2 Tbsp butter on top of the berry filling. Place the top pie shell. Seal and crimp the edges. Brush the top crust with milk, and sprinkle with 1/4 cup sugar.

Bake at 425 degree F (220 degrees C) for 15 minutes. Reduce the temperature of the oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C), and bake for an additional 25 minutes.

Yum! So good and delicious with plain vanilla ice cream. Enjoy :)

I also scored some fabric remnants at a friend's yard sale today, so I now must officially put "relearn how to sew with a sewing machine" on my to-do list. My MIL gave me her sewing machine :) I'm dreaming of shabby chic, adorable outfits....think Matilda Jane Clothing-ish. We'll see.....You know, because I really need more things to cram into my days! lol

Saturday night Craig and I had a date night :) Much needed as it had been almost 2 months since the last time out without 3 kids. This was also our first time out without Evie since her birth 9 months ago. We also went on our first post-baby alone date 9 months after Eliana was born. Oh the magical 9th month....must be something about them finally sleeping well enough without needing to be nursed all the time. So, how'd we get out of the house kid-free? Well, my mom and sister came over to keep Jacob company. My mom put Eliana down to sleep. I put Evie to bed but she woke up crying and needed to be rocked by my mom after we left. We're very lucky to have family so close and to have family that we 100% trust and whom our children adore.

We went to The Loft in Poulsbo for dinner. It was ok, to be honest. I kept wishing I could've gone back in the kitchen and showed them some things. $13 hamburgers should be big, juicy, make your mouth water, and make you dream of when you can have it again. The Oahu Burger seriously fell short. It was small (for costing so much), very non-juicy, and I'm not at all dreaming of having it again. We split the burger and also an order of the Cod Fish-n-Chips. The Cod was beer battered and had good flavor, but again, not a large portion and the 'chips' (house made fries) were soggy. The color of the french fries was quite dark and the flavor was not burned, but not right. I guessed that maybe the fryer oil needed to be changed. The biggest bummer was the calamari appetizer. It was a plate covered about 1/5 (maybe) with calamari. It was the smallest portion of calamari I'd ever seen! The garlic aioli sauce was good, but it really wasn't worth $11 when you get maybe 2 little squid. We also had two beverages and neither one was ever refilled. The good: Beautiful view of the marina and sunset. Kind hostess and waitstaff. Pretty, beachy decor.

I suppose I just felt that The Loft simply fell short of it's potential. Beautiful restaurant, beautiful views, and yet the food wasn't up to par. If they could get their food to be like it is at The Yacht Club Broiler or The Boatshed, it'd be perfect. As a customer, you should feel like you get your money's worth. A $13 burger should be worth the $13. Right?

After dinner we went and saw The Help. It was such a good movie. We laughed, we cried, and we awkwardly listened to the lady SOBBING behind us. LOL! I read the book before going and as is fairly normal the movie didn't compare to the book. A LOT was left out and some little and big details were changed. Like Hilly, in the book she is described as being a bit on the chubby side. In the movie she's thin. That's a small detail, but it's all a part of Hilly's character. I think the movie as a stand-alone is fantastic. I was only a tad disappointed because I'd read the book first and the book was so darn good.

It was a great date night, even though dinner wasn't great, my company was :)

Want to meet a Real Housewife?

2011-08-31T23:16:00.000-07:00

I'm so frustrated. I am juggling so much it gives me a headache and I feel like I have to watch my words so carefully because people get offended.

If I talk about couponing someone will be offended because they think it's all junk food and "who the heck has time for that anyway?"

If I talk about parenting or discipline someone will be offended because I think differently than they do.

If I talk about breastfeeding someone will be offended because they choose to formula feed.

If I talk about birth someone will be offended because they didn't choose a natural birth.

If I talk about________(fill in the blanks)- people will be offended and/or judge me.

I am 28, raising an 11 year old, almost 3 year old and 9 month old. I have survived both my husband and my mom being in life threatening accidents and both having to wear the same flipping body brace. I was raised by a single mom because my dad left us when I was 7 months old. I was diagnosed with a liver disease at 19 only to go through rigorous testing and surgery and then be told it was 'gone' or misdiagnosed. I have stood by and supported my husband through legal battles with his ex over his son. I have experienced infertility caused by PCOS and what it feels like to have a body that doesn't work on it's own. I have birthed two beautiful and precious little girls in two entirely different birthing experiences. I have battled through 4 months of the most intense screams a baby can make for about 12 hours a day thank you to the enigma known as 'colic' . I paid our mortgage, medical bills, and every other bill while Craig was recovering from his accident for 3 months while fighting insurance several times a day, working full time, and being the nurse to a man in a body brace, neck brace, and his jaw wired shut. I have battled eating disorders and self-esteem and am the size I am because I choose not to throw up my food or starve myself anymore. I am choosing to love, teach, and raise a child who is not biologically mine but needs a mother who is present, conservative, and notices him. I worked hard with my husband to buy our first home, only to find that after blood, sweat, and tears of remodeling and $100k lost we cannot conventionally sell this home that has septic waste leaking into our backyard and we have no option but to get out.

Life has never been simple. Not when I was 8 and not now at 28. It's always been complicated and a bit messy. There's always been trouble and I've had to become a fighter. Now why isn't there a Real Housewives of Kitsap??? THIS is what being a housewife is really like :)

24 Hours

2011-08-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

We all have 24 hours in a day. The President has 24 hours in a day. Mother Teresa had 24 hours in her days. Whether you have 1 child, no children, 8 children- you get 24 hours.

I spend the vast majority of my hours feeding children, cleaning and picking up 2500 sq ft of farmhouse, playing with 3 children, answering questions, breaking up fights, changing/washing/folding diapers, volunteering and coordinating a mom's group, working in the garden, etc. I also coupon and blog.

I coupon to save us money. We went from a family of 3 to a family of 5 in five months and yet our income didn't change at all. Something had to give. I had thought couponing was all junk food so I didn't give in to it for months but when we needed groceries and didn't have much money to buy them I knew I needed to do something. So I coupon. We have over 30 tubes of Colgate and Crest toothpaste in the basement. They were pennies away from being free. Pasta, crackers, body wash, deoderant, razors, granola bars, laundry detergent, floss, mouth wash, baby food, milk......all FREE. So no, it's not all Pop Tarts and icecream. I have actually NEVER couponed Pop Tarts and I buy icecream because my husband is stinking addicted and always requests it. The majority of what I coupon for is healthy. Last week I got Hamburger Helper. They paid me .20 for every 10 boxes I took. I'll use them or donate them and bottom line is it took about 5 minutes in couponing prep and they were FREE.
I blog because my brain needs the outlet. I am smart. I believe that I am. Not Albert Einstein smart by any means but I'll admit sometimes I'm in a room and think, "did so and so really just say that?" or I'll read something and think, "did they really just spell that word like that?" I can't help it. My brain notices stuff like that. In the same way if someone sings a song out of tune and my ears hear it and my head tilts and I try to counter that 'nails on a chalkboard' feeling that is happening in my brain.....I notice stuff like that. I don't have a paying job that allows me to use my brain, so I use my brain teaching my children, volunteering, couponing, and blogging. My day often begins at 6:30am with the baby and goes til about midnight or 1am most nights. Jacob goes to bed at 9pm so I crave the evening as MY time and time with my husband without any children needing us (or that's the goal anyway). This is also when I blog. Midnight blogging is the best. I'm tired enough to not be so inhibited and afraid of what I say. This might also be when people would likely be offended. But you know what? It's my blog. Don't read it if you can't handle it.

There are some 'friends' who judge us, berate us, belittle us, and make us feel like less of a person when we are around them. Then there are real friends who validate, encourage, uplift, and make us feel like a better person when we are around them.
I feel that with real friends a person, especially a busy mother, shouldn't have to explain what she does with her day. As a mother it should go without saying how exhausting, wonderful, frustrating, and also fabulous being a parent is. And if you haven't had the joy of navigating the pre-teen years yet....just you wait :) We should be cheering each other on with "you are amazing!" "how do you do it all?" "you are the best mother!" "your children adore you!" "I'm so proud of and in awe of you!".....you get the idea. NOT judging how another mother spends her time or what she's feeding her family or what her kids are wearing. You know, some people eat Hamburger Helper because it's literally all they can afford. Don't judge it! When I get toothpaste and shampoo and conditioner for free it means I can take that money and buy produce with it. Novel idea, right?

I saw a question on the Birth Without Fear (love her!) Facebook page several weeks ago, "how much do you spend on groceries per month?" MOST people answered more than $500. Quite a few actually said $800 or $1000. I wanted to cry reading that. At the time with our current situation I was trying to figure out how to make $225 feed 5 people for a month and buy all our toiletries. It wasn't working. Couponing has helped a ton. It also means that stuff I wouldn't normally buy I can buy and my kids can have the occasional fun treat or luxury- like Gushers or Rice Crispy Treats :) But it also means that all that stuff someone else might pay for: greek yogurt, Tillamook Cheese, pasta, etc....I got for free. Now honestly the goal isn't FREE. The goal is getting stuff we need for the best price I can. Sometimes that's free sometimes it's not. I do what I can with the amount of time I can. A few hours a week tops.

Anyway, I'm not sure the point of this blog post exactly, but I guess my point is that mothers work hard. There is no break, it's a constant job. If you are lucky enough to have your husband's help in the mornings or evenings count it a blessing! Many mothers do not have help because their husband is working his tail off to provide for the family.

Encourage your mama friends. Validate their work and their effort. Tell them how beautiful and selfless they are. Tell them their children seem so loved and special. Tell them their house looks wonderful. Tell them you admire them.
Life tends to break us down quite a bit on it's own, lets not do it to our friends.

Our new adventure!

2011-08-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

This fall has a new adventure waiting for the Frazier Family: The Frazier Farmhouse School! Yup, that's right, we're homeschooling Jacob.
He started asking almost 2 months ago about it. I told him no right off the bat. I said I didn't think it was a good idea, his mom might say no anyway, and it seemed like too much to take on. He was bummed but said ok. Then he kept asking. Every few days. My thinking since Jacob has gotten here is that anytime something is really important to him I will at the very least pray, think about it, and see what I can do to make it work. So, obviously homeschooling was important to him. When I asked why he wanted to he said, "I'm not really sure. I've wanted to for like 3 years though. I just think it'll be a good experience and the best for my education." lol! Then we were having dinner one night and Jacob brought it up again and Craig said, "You just want to because your best friends are gonna homeschool this year." I then shot him the look of death. I hadn't told Jacob yet that his friends were going to homeschool! Whoops! Jacob said, "what? They are?" Totally in shock and feeling sad that he wouldn't be in school with them. At least I know that his decision to want to homeschool is not based on his buddies. Them homeschooling will just be a bonus for him :) Especially on snow days. The Farm is going to be a friggin winter wonderland!
His mom was actually really cool about things. She said as long as he is actually doing the necessary work and learning, she would leave the decision to Craig and me. I thought, "wow, didn't expect that!" But, things have definitely been much better between all of us in the last 4 months.

Alright, so lots of researching (as is my way), which took about a month, and I have figured out curriculum for the most part. I still need to break down the year into how many pages of which subject on which day and what subjects we'll do on certain days and what field trips we'll do, etc. The real work is ahead of me, but homeschooling gives you so much flexibility. I personally am not a fan of 'unschooling'. I believe it's important to learn math, English, history, science, geography, language, etc. On the other hand though, I don't just want to bring the public school into our home. Part of the point of homeschooling is that you can teach the subjects how you want and when you want to. If I want Craig to do sex-ed with Jake on the weekends or a weeknight- we can. If we want to go outside in the snow and learn about and study snowflakes and different kinds of clouds for an hour as science for that day- we can!

Jacob has already learned so much in the time he's been here. I learned a week ago that he had no idea what Christmas was really about or why it's called "Christ"mas. He didn't understand why dates have an AD or BC after them. He didn't know about "i before e except after c". We've had some very teachable moments! He's also writing a book and that is wonderful. He's using his creativity and it will provide a lot of opportunity to talk about sentence structure, grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. For now I'm just letting him write and have fun. We'll get down to the nitty gritty later :)

Last night we had a bonfire and roasted hot dogs and made s'mores and we talked about the moon (which was full and gorgeous) and how you find the radius, circumference, etc. We chatted about Pi vs Pie :) and all sorts of things. Life is one big learning adventure and I feel it's important that learning takes place as the opportunities present themselves and not just in a classroom for X amount of minutes. I feel it's important that a child be educated enough that they can attend any college they want to, if they choose to. I also feel it's important for kids to do hands on things; make food, work on cars, help in the garden, color/create, etc.

We found a hutch on Craigslist last weekend that retails for over $430 and we got it for $50 :) My mom is lending us tons of books from when I was a kid. Cool learning stuff about history, geography, economics, and The Backyard Scientist. Jake is having a blast reading all the fun books like Doctor Dolittle and The Boxcar Children. It's fun for me to have these books in my home because I seriously read ALL of them as a kid.

So, here's to our new adventure. We're gonna take it one week at a time and see how it goes. We'll be starting about the same time the local school district does.

Pics from last night's bonfire :

Craig's giving the stink-eye here, lol

The fire pit! Craig made it out of an old chimney-thing we got at a yard sale :) And of course, the hose on stand-by for safety.

Just chillin'

Handsome! My hubs of 6 years :)

A book that drives me nuts...

2011-08-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

Saw yet another person today touting how wonder Michael and Debbie Pearl are and "how dare I say anything bad about them." Well, I don't need to say anything bad, they say it all themselves. This is just the tip of the iceberg and what I personally read from their book tonight:

Here's a few quotes straight from To Train Up A Child,

"You should be able to take a nap and expect to find the house in order when you wake." (It's the whole "children should be seen and not heard thing)

"When the baby bit, my wife pulled her hair (an alternative has to be sought for baldheaded babies). Understand, the baby is not being punished, just conditioned."

"A newborn soon needs training. Crying in order to manipulate the adults into constant servitude should never be rewarded. Otherwise, you will reinforce the child's growing self-centeredness, which will eventually become socially intolerable." (This was under the boldfaced title, NEVER TOO YOUNG TO TRAIN)

"At four months.... we attempted to train her not to climb the stairs by coordinating the voice command of "No" with little spats on the bare legs. The switch was a twelve-inch long, one-eighth-inch diameter sprig from a willow tree."

"Stripes are said to be to the soul what the healing blood flow is to a wound. A child properly and timely spanked is healed in the soul and restored to wholeness of spirit. A child can be turned back from the road to hell through proper spankings."

"Fail to use the rod on this child, and you are creating a '"Nazi." I still marvel at the power of the little rod. Somehow, after eight or ten licks, the poison is transformed into gushing love and contentment."

"If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final."

"This time, my wife's bottom came off the couch as she drew back to return the blow; and I heard a little karate like wheeze come from somewhere deep inside Johnny."

"When the heat was just right, I would open the door long enough for them to be attracted by the flames. I then move away. The child would inevitably run to the stove and touch it. Just as his hand touched the stove, I would say, "Hot!" It usually took twice, sometimes three times, but they all learned their lesson. "

"If a parent starts at infancy discouraging the first crying demands, the child will never develop a habit. In our home a fit was totally unknown because the first time it was tried it proved counterproductive."

"If you want a child who will integrate into the New World Order and wait his turn in line for condoms, a government funded abortion, sexually transmitted disease treatment, psychological evaluation and a mark on the forehead, then follow the popular guidelines in education, entertainment and discipline, but if you want a son or daughter of God, you will have to do it God's way [homeschool]." (this was under the title THE SYSTEM) Also, "Never even consider sending your children to private Christian schools, much less the public automation factory. "

"Hollywood is not for God's children. Don't allow the brainless, subversive Sesame Street type propaganda to come into your house. Your children's thinking should be molded by the word of God and Christian example, not by sex perverts and socialists. If you want to destroy your family then get yourself a good TV and VCR to keep the kids company."

"Never yield to the fads. Christians should have too much dignity to be carried along by the Madison Avenue promoters. Their shoes, clothes and cereal should be chosen for serviceability, not style."

The book seems like so much legalism and rules. Not to mention a TON of hitting your kids with a 'switch'. There were things here and there that made sense to me and I went, "yeah, that could work." But the majority of it seems so messed up. You have the freedom to do what you choose in your own home. I, for one, will not be sleep training or letting a newborn cry it out. I will NOT be aiming to "totally defeat" my children. How sad :(

Living at the Dr's lately...

2011-08-03T00:42:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a blur of not sleeping and dr's appointments. Seriously! Evangeline got another ear infection and that meant her up all night and instead of not napping and still being happy, she didn't nap and was NOT happy. It was a really rough several days. She is on the mend now I think and finally sleeping at night a bit better. She still takes 20-40 minutes at night to settle down, which stinks because that means tears. I don't want her to go to sleep crying, but the alternative is that I continue to hold her until 11pm when she is in a very deep sleep. I was going crazy doing that. I was chained to the couch and started feeling like I was imprisoned. I did that for 8 months and I think that is admirable. And enough. Quite enough! Now she goes in her crib at about 7pm and wakes up to eat around 5:30am. Usually I can get her to sleep a couple more hours after she nurses. So while she doesn't nap, at least she's getting almost 12 hours at night. Now if I only I was!

With Eliana and Evangeline having such frequent ear infections, we are at the Dr.'s a lot. A lot is an understatement really. I am also trying to get Jacob caught up on Dr.'s appointments and that is taking a lot of my time; pediatrician, dentist, ophthalmologist, etc. He gets glasses now as we discovered he's not seeing well out of his right eye. As far as he could remember, he'd never been to an eye doctor. The things that make you go "hmmmm.........." Poor kid.

I took Eliana to an Ear Nose and Throat Surgeon today. She's had persistent fluid in her ears for at least the past 6 months. The problem with fluid sitting in there long term is it can greatly affect speech and also can deteriorate the ear canal. The surgeon put it this way, "she's got a lot of fluid in her ears. The fluid is causing about a 20% reduction in hearing. Between 18 months and 3 years is their most important and formative time for language and speech development. She might already be set back a year or so from her hearing problems and we need to fix it now. The fluid in her ears is not infected which is why none of the antibiotics could take care of the issue. This is a plumbing problem. Her ears accumulate fluid and because of the shape of her inner ear pieces, there is no where for the fluid to go. Tubes will help this. It's a 5 minute surgery and she should playing normally by the afternoon."
So, there you have it! She goes in for surgery on the 22nd. I'm nervous for her and feel a bit of anxiety as her mother because any kind of surgery has risks, but the key here is that her speech is important and I don't want her to have long term hearing loss like her dad. Also, I am very validated in this: I feel like I have to repeat myself A LOT to her. And not that she's being a snot and just ignoring me, but like she honestly can't hear me. The surgeon said she absolutely isn't hearing me and I'm not crazy! lol. And poor Eliana....living within a bubble of limited sound is not fair to her either.

Jacob is continuing to learn and thrive here. His pediatrician said she can see just looking at him how at home and happy he is here and how much he's changed in the last few months. She said she can tell he's come out of his shell and really feels safe and secure and she's happy for him. Not to mention he's trimmed up a bit and is looking much healthier. We can't really picture our life before he came here and we're so blessed to have him in our family :)

B-Day

2011-07-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

Today is my 28th birthday. 28 years ago I was born at home with a midwife :)

My mom had Eliana and Jacob over last night for a Grammy slumber party and they stayed all day today, too. Craig and I met them there around 5 and we all did dinner together, too.

Last night Craig and I got takeout Thai (my fave- Aroy Dy) and had a drink or two. Ok, I had like one and he might've had two. lol. Lambic Raspberry Framboise is so yummy. I very rarely have it, maybe once a year, but I really like it :) My parents gave us a birthday gift of cash-ola that paid for the meal and the drinks. Bonus!

Today we walked around downtown, got a donut from Sluys' Bakery, went to the Poulsbo Farmer's Market, went to TJ Maxx, and I got a pedicure! Woop woop! Perhaps the first one since the week of my wedding? I might've had one or two since then, but it's definitely been ages. At least since before I got pregnant with either of my girls which would be Feb 2008. Also, I didn't have to pay for this pedicure....how, you ask? Well, several months ago I was having a VERY bad day. Evie was screaming for no apparent reason, for most of the day. She didn't want to eat, didn't want to sleep, it was rough. And at that point Eliana was still adjusting to a new sibling and all I heard was , "uppy mommy!!!" all day long. I had a meeting in Poulsbo that day where Evie screamed the whole time and then later that day she screamed the whole way home to Bremerton. I cried that entire 30 minute car ride. I remember feeling so overwhelmed and so insignificant. Just like I am always taking care of everyone else and I needed two minutes to breathe. We were also in the throws of a failing septic, needing to but unable to move, and waiting to get Evie on our insurance due to paperwork snafus after her birth (not on our part). It was too much going on and all out of my control. I walked in the door of our house that night with a tired 2 year old and screaming 3 month old, feeling totally defeated. I didn't even want to say hi to Craig, all I could do was cry. And then Craig hands me the mail. It was a card from a childhood friend whom I've reconnected with on Facebook. We both have babies, we both advocate breastfeeding, we both blog, we're both super smart women (hehe!). Her card talked about how hard I work and that she is blessed by me and my blog and that she wanted me to do something nice for ME. Hair, nails, whatever, and she included a generous gift card. I was blown away and stood there crying even harder. God knew exactly what I needed in that moment. I felt like He was saying, "I see you Diana. I know some days are hard and things have been hard especially today, but I do see you." I felt so validated and extremely grateful. God really used Mariena to speak to me. Thank you for being His voice, sweet friend! So, that is how I got my nails done today and hair last week. Amazing, right?

Tonight we bbq'd at my mom's house and now I'm home, on the couch, needing to stuff and fold about 25 diapers, practice the songs for worship tomorrow (yes, I'm singing after an almost 10 month worship team hiatus), and get sleep soon since I have to be up around 6am. Which is sort of a bummer because my sweet friend, Hollie, just had her son today and I really want to meet him!
Alright, off to do the above said chores :)

2011-07-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

At the risk of people thinking I'm crazy or offending my friends who are so far TTC unsuccessfully...I really miss being pregnant. I can't wait to be pregnant again. It seems there are pregnant people everywhere and I'm slightly jealous!
Miracles can and do happen and God can make me pregnant at any time, but so far for me to get pregnant it's meant fertility meds. Which means I can't nurse. There is no way I would wean a 7 month old to start working on getting pregnant again. So for now I will just enjoy my busy life raising 3 kids and dream happily about someday being pregnant again. I wish pregnancy lasted like 12 months.....10 months goes by way too fast!

Couponing and Sleep

2011-07-19T01:09:00.000-07:00

Over the last 2 days I have bought over $230 worth of groceries for a whopping $39. Insane right?? That's 83% savings. We are pretty much set on cold cereal and granola bars for several months. And milk...holy cow it's coming out my ears! I have like 5 gallons in my fridge, 2 in my freezer, and coupons for 5 more free ones! Drink up ;)
The Poulsbo Albertson's is so coupon friendly, I love them. I have never had a rude checker or one that was hard to deal with about coupons. Nelly is fabulous and Tina and Reina (sp?) are really nice, too. And generally speaking people behind me in line are more credulous than anything. Tonight the lady behind me was like, "what? You got all that for $7???" ha!
And, once again....cell phone pics, sorry! You'll see a lot of boxes of cheerios, these ended up being anywhere from 31cents to 50 cents a box!

This transaction was $23 (worth $130ish)! And ya know it's not all junk food, despite what I or anyone else might've thought about couponing. This is: 8 boxes of cheerios, 4 boxes of golden grahams, 2 loaves Franz whole wheat bread, 4 boxes fiber one bars, 4 boxes nature valley bars, 1 large m&m bag, 2 small m&m bags, 2 Darigold milks, 1 32 load All, 2 gerber puffs, 3 S&W low sodium canned beans, 1 box waffle cones= $23 total and I have 3 more free milk coupons :)

This transaction was $7 (worth $50)

4 boxes cheerios, 2 boxes Emerald breakfast on the go trail mix, 2 4-packs yoplait yogurt, 4 3-packs 100% juice, 4 boxes Gushers. Also got another free milk coupon.

This one was $9 (worth $50)

4 boxes cheerios, 2 packages oreos, 4 Gerber puffs, 1 Lysol toilet cleaner, 1 Albertson's baked beans, 1 Kettle chips bag, 1 Ronzoni pasta box, 1 Albertson's french bread. And I got another free milk coupon!

Jacob is my coupon helper and that's fun. He's learning a lot and honestly, finding good deals and couponing is a great life skill to have! I encourage you to involve your older children as much as you can.

Please check out Coupon Connections for more info and all the cool leads that I follow. Amber runs that site and she lives fairly locally. Thank you Amber!

So, in addition to couponing, life has just been busy. What's new, right? Last Saturday was our 6th wedding anniversary :) So much has happened in that 6 years it's just mind boggling. But probably the best thing is that we still enjoy each other's company and still love each other. Having God as the center of our marriage and family makes a tremendous difference, that's for sure. My mom took Jacob and Eliana Friday night so Craig and I got a whole 24 hours with just one child. It was amazing! We went to dinner at the Golden Grill Mongolian Restaurant which just so happens to be exactly where I first met Craig. I was singing karaoke and he was hooked, the rest is history! My brother was so thoughtful and called ahead and paid for our meal. Totally awesome! Then we went and saw the 8pm showing of Horrible Bosses (we love Jason Bateman, he's Hi-Lar-IOUS!). It had a TON of language, but otherwise funny and just nice to be in a theatre as a couple. The last time we saw a movie together was the last Twilight movie! Evie was great the whole night. She put up with tons of errands; Rite Aid, Target, World Market, etc. And then sat happily in the high chair at the restaurant (first time in a wooden high chair!). She wouldn't have cried at all except she was trying to chew the high chair and banged her head on the glass table top :( Poor baby. Then she did stellar at the movie. She fought sleep the first 10 minutes and made us nervous, but then passed out and slept the whole time. She was awake but super quiet on the way home and Craig said, "wow, she's so good you almost forget she's here!" That's our little Evie-roo. She just goes with the flow.

Saturday was Craig's 33rd birthday (woop woop!), we went to Costco and it was a mad house but fun to go with just one kid. It's incredible how easy having one child is. You don't realize that until you have 3! Even 2 is so much easier than 3, and again, you don't realize that until you have 3. lol!

It was a busy but great weekend as a family.

Alright, let's talk sleep. First off, I should be sleeping right now. It's nearly 1 am and Evie will be waking me up around 7am probably. Yikes!

Eliana hasn't napped in almost a week. I'm not sure what the deal is, but she just sings, plays, cried, etc in her crib and won't sleep. I'm hoping it's a phase. Today we were at a friend's house so I just didn't even bother to put her down for a nap. She passed out in the car for 20 minutes though and she almost never does that! Time will tell whether naps are off the table for good for her. I hope not! She is happier and more pleasant when she naps.

On the other hand, my little non-sleeper Evangeline is becoming a sleeper! Hallelujah! 3 nights ago I just kind of said, "you know what, I've had it. I can sit here on the couch and she'll be half asleep flopping around on me and grabbing and scratching my face til 11pm, or I can let her cry for a while." I guess the last 7 1/2 months just caught up with me and I was DONE. So I put her in her crib, awake but definitely ready for bed. She cried for 45 minutes but then slept for 10 straight hours! I could hardly believe it. Having my evenings free to clean, organize, etc is really nice. I almost feel like I'm on vacation in my own house! Night 2 she cried for 30 minutes and then slept 11 hours and tonight she cried for 20 minutes. We'll see how long she sleeps tonight. I got too busy and forgot to feed her any table food today which might play into it as well. Breast milk doesn't sit in the belly very long.

Why is the sleeping working better now? I'm not sure. I think she's older and more ready. For whatever reason she wasn't ready at 4 or 5 months. Her screams were blood curdling and like she was terrified. This week her cries are more sad, tired, and a little mad- but not scared and not blood curdling. I'm hoping within a couple days I'll be able to lay her down and she'll just go to sleep with no tears. That's the hope. I haven't gotten to bed before midnight the last three nights, I'm just having so much fun being hands free! lol. Oh, and yay for me, I nursed Evie in the Ergo today. I was crazy couponing with a bf and our 7 (you read that right!) kids at Albertson's and we were about to pay but I realized Evie wouldn't make it through 20 minutes of checkout without eating. So, I whipped it out right there in the cereal aisle (I had on a low cut shirt and just lowered my shirt). With the sleep shade on the Ergo it was fairly modest and no one walked by anyway. She was happily sitting in the Ergo and nursing, so cute! Yay me for trying something new!

Ok, time to catch some Zzzzz. I'm sure I'll read this blog later and find lots of grammar/spelling errors....I blame that on sleep deprivation for the moment :)

Seafood Pasta Salad

2011-07-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

Friday night I had this recipe just appear in my brain, so I went for it and it was good! I made it with salmon for a baby shower on Saturday and with imitation crab and salad shrimp for a party on Sunday. The crab and shrimp was definitely the best, but both were good.

Seafood Pasta Salad

1 lb medium shell or rotini pasta, cooked according to package directions, drained and cooled

2 cans salmon (I used the good quality stuff from Costco and they are good sized cans), drained

OR
1lb imitation crab, broken up and
1/2 to 1lb salad shrimp

3 cups frozen corn, thawed

2 to 3 cups fresh sweet peas, destring and cut in half

1/2 cup Ranch dressing

3/4 cup Best Foods Mayonnaise

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/2 cup fresh parmesan

Mix all together and adjust the liquids and/or seasonings if needed. If the taste is right but it's just too thick, add some milk. The seafood and pasta will absorb a lot of the moisture, so if you are letting it chill overnight you may need to add more mayo and ranch prior to serving it. Serve chilled.
This is also yummy in the Parmesan Baskets.
(c) Diana Frazier 2011

Parmesan Baskets

2011-07-07T17:16:00.000-07:00

A dear friend of mine is welcoming a baby girl into her family in a couple months and we are celebrating this weekend. I am making Parmesan baskets with a cheesy tuna salad :) I made the baskets today, took about 1 1/2 hours and will be making the tuna salad in the next couple days.

Here's the how-to on the baskets:

Parmesan- I used the big Costco bag of fresh Parmesan and it made about 100 baskets. Use however much you need to depending on how many baskets you need/want. Each basket takes a couple tablespoons of Parmesan. And it needs to be FRESH grated Parmesan, not the powdery ground stuff in the green can.

On a non-stick baking sheet put 1-2 Tbsp of fresh Parmesan. Spread it out into about a 3 inch round.

I tried making them thinner to see if they'd be more lacy, but then they didn't shape well and wouldn't be thick enough to hold a salad. You'll have to play around with amounts, but this is what you want it to look like. I also recommend doing one cookie sheet at a time, at least to start, because you have to move fast when you pull them out.

Bake in a 400 degree oven for about 3 minutes. You want them to look golden-ish and melted.

After you pull them out of the oven, use a flat spatula and carefully get them off one by one and put them on an upside down muffin tin. Shape them gently while still hot. Some recipes will tell you to use cups and I tried that but this was easier and made them more uniform. Allow to cool for about 2 minutes and they should be cool enough to move to a a platter.

Aren't they so pretty?!

Finished large batch- should be about 100 baskets :)

Best Lactation Cookies Ever

2011-07-04T13:24:00.000-07:00

Alright friends, here's a fabulous recipe to boost your milk supply. It honest to goodness works, too! I probably ate almost a dozen of these a day the week after Evie was born and BAM, huge milk supply. I also lost 35lbs in the first 2 weeks. Life is crazy with a newborn and regular meals don't always happen, so having a bag of these on the counter at least gives you something to snack on :) They are also a wonderful thing to drop off at a friend's house right after they have a baby.

Also, if hubby or your 5 year old daughter chow on these they will NOT start lactating! lol

The magical ingredient in these is the brewer's yeast. Get it at Super Supplements or Central Market (in bulk or the natural supplements area). It's the same reason why some people recommend drinking a beer for supply- it's not the alcohol that helps, it's the brewer's yeast! The oatmeal and flax are also helpers for supply. I get my flax at Costco. It's a huge bag of organic cold milled flax and it's shelf-stable so you don't have to refrigerate it. You can also add or sub honey or molasses in place of the sugars. I tend to do 3 or 4 Tbsp of the brewer's yeast. It's sort of a nutty flavor and the cookies just taste 'healthy', not bad at all. PS. you'll want flakes or meal yeast. Chunky yeast would be weird :)

My Favorite Lactation Cookies:

1 cup butter

1 cup sugar

1 cup firmly packed brown sugar

4 tablespoons water

2 tablespoons flax seed meal

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

3 cups oats

1 cup chocolate chips

2 -4 tablespoons brewer's yeast

1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Mix the flaxseed meal and water and let sit for 3-5 minutes.
3. Beat butter, sugar, and brown sugar well.
4. Add eggs and mix well.
5. Add flaxseed mix and vanilla, beat well.
6. Sift together flour, brewers yeast, baking soda, and salt.
7. Add dry ingredients to butter mix.
8. Stir in oats and chips.
9. Scoop onto baking sheet.
10. Bake for 12 minutes.
11. Let set for a couple minutes then remove from tray.

Couponing 7.3.11

2011-07-03T00:27:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the blurry picture, my camera wasn't handy, so it's a phone pic.

Alrighty folks, what did I get?
15 boxes Nature Valley Granola Bars, paid a few dollars total for all of these
2 packages Strawberry Twizzlers, .88cents each
2 packages Oscar Meyer Natural Hotdogs, $2 each
5 12 packs Coca Cola soda, $1.85 each
2 lunchables, $1 each on sale
2 Dove Men's bodywashes $1.29 each
2 Dove Men's deoderant, .99cents each
3 cans Bush's Baked Beans, $1.69 each on sale
1 gallon Darigold milk, free (Catalina)
2 boxes Honey Maid Graham Crackers, .99cents each
2 packages Jet Puff Marshmallows, .99 cents each
2 packages Hershey's chocolate bars, .99cents each
1 Lawry's marinade, .74 cents
6 Pillsbury brownie mixes, 3 for free and the rest for .49 cents each (part of the buy 10 save $5 deal)
1 French's yellow mustard, .69 cents
2 Cheese Nips, .75 cents each
4 boxes various Nabisco Crackers, .75 cents each
1 Heinz Ketchup $1.49 on sale
4 Kraft Ranch, .99cents each

Total- $49 :) Should've been $179 ( I put over 200 on FB, I was off a tad on my math!) Not bad considering there were NO doubled coupons this week!
This time I had a printed word doc of each transaction and what I needed to get for it. I also had the coupons sorted into separate envelopes for the transactions. I spent about 1 1/2 hours prepping this week. Eliana was home with Craig, Evie was with me shopping.

Here's a little bit of what I did. Thank you Coupon Connection!!!

Bush’s Baked Beans, 21-28oz $1.67, no coupons, just on sale

Oscar Mayer Meat or Turkey Hot Dogs, 16oz $2.50
$1/2 Oscar Mayer Hot Dogs
Final Price: $2.00

Buy 4 Dove Men’s Body Wash or Shower Tool, 13.5oz or 1ct $4.59
use (2) B1G1 Dove Men+Care Body or Face Wash or Shower too 6/26/2011 RP Insert (exp 7/24/2011)
-$4.00 Instantly
Final Price: $1.29 each

Dove Deodorant $3.99
$2/1 Dove Men+Care Antiperspirant or Deodorant 6/26/2011 RP Insert (exp 7/24/2011)
Final Price: $0.99 wyb 4 Dove products

Pillsbury Brownies, 19.5oz $0.49
$0.40/1 Pillsbury Frosting or Brownie Mixes 6/12/2011 RP Insert (exp 9/30/2011) or
$0.55/1 Pillsbury Brownie Printable
Final Price: Free-$0.49

Kraft Salad Dressing, 14-16oz $1.49
$1/2 Kraft Salad Dressings 6/19/2011 SS Insert (exp 7/17/2011)
final price: .99

Heinz EZ Squeeze Ketchup, 32oz $1.49, no coupon, part of the Buy 10 save $5 deal

French’s Yellow Mustard, 20oz $0.99
$0.30/1 French’s Mustard 6/19/2011 SS Insert (exp 8/31/2011), regional
Final Price: $0.66

Lawry’s Marinade, 12oz $0.99
.25/1 Albertson's game piece coupon
final price: .74

Hershey’s Twizzlers Bag, 12-17.6oz $1.38
$1/2 Catalina (I had from a previous transaction on another day)
final price: .88 each

Nabisco Snack Crackers 5.5-10oz $1.99
$1/1 Wheat Thins Crunch Stix
Final Price: $0.99

I had 5 coupons (from Nelly at Poulsbo) that gave $1.50 off when I bought a 12 pack of Coke and a Nabisco cracker item, so I used those for all the other Nabisco items that were also on sale for $1.99.

Buy 2 Nabisco Honey Maid Grahams, 12.2-14.4oz $2.99
Buy 2 Hershey’s Candy Bars, 6ct $3.00
Buy 2 Kraft Jet Puffed Marshmallows, 10-10.5oz $1.25use (1) $1/2 Nabisco Honey Maid Grahams 6/26/2011 SS Insert (exp 8/14/2011)
use (1) $1/2 Hershey’s Milk Chocolate 6/26/2011 SS Insert (exp 8/14/2011)
use (2) Purchase Honey Maid Grahams and Hershey’s Milk Chocolate 6pk, receive FREE MarshmallowsSave $2.00 Instantly x 2
Final Price: $0.99 each!

Buy 4 Nature Valley Thins $2.50
use (4) $0.50/1 coupons from coupons.com
Pay: $8.00, receive $2.00 Catalina, $5.00 Catalina
Final Price: $1

Buy 4 Nature Valley Granola Bars $2.50
use (2) $0.85/2 Nature Valley Granola Bars from eatbetteramerica.com
Pay: $8.30, receive $2.00 Catalina, $5.00 Catalina
Final Price: $1.30

PS. NO free milk catalinas are printing anymore :( Also, the buy 10 save $5 deal will not automatically double to $10 if you buy 20 items. You need to do it as 2 transactions. I didn't know this and my cashier didn't tell me! Dang it, should've saved another $5. It's really irking me looking over this and seeing a couple places I could've saved more, but nothing I can do about it now. This is only my 3rd weekend of really couponing and I think I'm doing pretty good. Live and Learn!

******update*******
I went back to Albertson's yesterday and asked about the missing $5 savings (on the urging of Coupon Connection). I was told that they have a new system and moving forward I'll have to do a separate transaction for each 10 items that are part of the "buy 10 save $5 deal", but that I am entitled to the 2nd $5. They refunded me! That makes my total for the above transaction $44 and a 76% savings, pretty darn good for having NO doubled coupons! :)

Crazy Couponing

2011-06-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

So, what's been new with me? Couponing, that's what!

Albertson's does something called Twice the Value (TTV) coupons. These allow you to double the value of a coupon up to $1. Ie. a $1 off of Life cereal coupon becomes a $2 off of Life cereal coupon with the TTV coupon. This is one of the ways that "Crazy Couponers" are getting things for free. And I gotta tell you, it's sort of amazing and addictive! Last weekend I got Ronzoni pasta for .25cents a box and Bullseye BBQ sauce for .29 cents each. I got 3 Twizzlers for free and I've now gotten about 40 boxes of Nature Valley granola bars for free and 9 gallons of free Darigold milk! I've gotten Herbal Essence shampoo and conditioner for .79cents each (full size) and 4 Skintimate Shaving Creams, large size, for .90 cents each. I've gotten Oreos and Ritz crackers for .99 cents, 30 bottles of Powerade Zero and Vitamin Water Zero for .18cents each, and Dove Men's Bar Soap 6ct for $2.99 (instead of $8!), to name a few.

It's pretty incredible when you ring up a ton of stuff and your total is only 70 cents! All that being said, it appears that Albertsons is changing their TTV distribution. In the past we've been able to get a stack from the store to make sure we have enough. I've read today that they will discontinue having them at the store and they will only be available in your newspaper. Yikes! You only get three TTV's per paper :( This sucks!
Here's an example of last Monday's shopping trip:

20 boxes Nature Valley Granola Bars

6 pack Dove Men's bar soap

4 gallons of Darigold Milk

Dial hand soap

3 Oreos

1 Ritz Cracker

1 Skintimate Shaving cream

Nalley Pickles

4 6-packs of Seneca no sugar added applesauce

12 pack mountain dew

Spent $25.62 on $131.46 of groceries!

nally pickles $1/1 (doubler and on sale), Seneca Apple sauce $1/2 (doubler and on sale), Dove Men's Soap $4/1 (also on sale), Dial hand soap $2/1, Nabisco snack items $1/2 (doubler and on sale), Skintimate Shave Cream .55/1 (doubler and on sale), Mountain Dew .55/1 (doubler and on sale). The Granola Bars were supposed to have a coupon in the Super Saver but mine didn't. BUT, there was a surprise Catalina! Buy 4 boxes of Nature Valley bars get $7 in Catalinas and a free milk! Woohoo!

Anyone have a couponing question? What is confusing you most? If I can't answer it, I'll work to find the answer!

2011-06-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

We took Jacob to the pediatrician for his well child visit today. Overall he is healthy. It was a tad surprising to find out he is having a hard time seeing in one eye. His mom said he had eye insurance with her, so I'm a little befuddled as to why he never got glasses. We have a referral to an eye doctor for him because as it stands, he won't even be able to see the blackboard in class this fall. Poor kid.
He is 75% for height and 90% for weight, and that's after having lost nearly 12lbs in the 2 months he has been with us. She said to keep doing what we're doing; keeping him active, healthy meals, etc and his weight should continue to even out over time. There is a night and day difference from pics when he first got her until now. He looks so much leaner and healthier and not puffy like he was. He makes comments about his belly shrinking and feeling good about that :)

While at the dr's I had her look in Evie's ears and sure enough, another infection. It's only been 6 weeks since the last one :( Looks like both my girls will be having tubes done. The ped said Evie has the worst ears she's ever seen in a baby her age and especially one who is breastfeeding. Bummer.

We started Evie on some non-breastmilk food a few days ago. She gnawed on my watermelon on Father's Day and LOVED it. 3 days ago I gave her some pureed squash and she was digging it! She age a whole 2 ounces after just breastfeeding. Today she had some ham and wasn't a huge fan, but I'll keep trying. There is good research out about good first foods and I gotta tell you, cereal is not it! I chatted with the ped about it today and she agreed with this- Weston Price- Nourishing a Growing Baby .

PS. I know my blog sucks lately. I'm beyond tired, what can I say. lol

2011-06-25T01:02:00.000-07:00

Having a really crappy night. It's 1am and Evie is screaming her head off. She refuses to sleep. Every week I pray and hope that her sleepless ways will change and I might get to live my days with my brain intact again, but nope. She won't sleep. She won't nap other than 20 minute catnaps in the Ergo which are few and far between and the VERY occasional longer nap but only while I'm holding her. NEVER in her crib or the swing. She hardly sleeps at night either. I mean, come on, it's 1 AM Evie, go the freak to sleep! And Elly will be up in about 6 hours so my opportunity to get any sleep tonight is very quickly passing by.

Jacob is at a slumber party and Elly has been asleep for over 4 hours. I was looking forward to a Friday night with Craig, but that didn't happen either. He put Elly down for bed and left to chop and stack wood til the sun went down. I feel about as wanted and desirable as a dirty sock in the bottom of a gym bag right now.

About 3 minutes ago I put Evie in her crib. She's in her room screaming right now but I needed to put her down because I was getting too angry. Craig is passed out on the couch so it's just me and the frustration and exhaustion of having a 7 month old that doesn't sleep. I think it probably sounds like I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. I wish I was. I can't find words when I'm talking sometimes, I forget to do things or call people, I'm irritable with Elly and Jacob; I'm just so freaking tired!

I'm not a fan of cuss words and particularly the F word, I think they are unclassy. But tonight I can really appreciate this book- http://www.amazon.com/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/1617750255 .

Potato, Chicken, Corn Chowder

2011-06-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

This is a meal I make fairly regularly. Very easy and inexpensive ingredients- just about everything is fresh and my family loves it! It also makes your house smell delish while it's cooking and serves great the next day as leftovers.

Diana's Potato, Chicken, and Corn Chowder for the Crockpot

1 sweet onion (vidalia, Maui sweet, or walla walla)
2 celery stalks
3 carrots
3-7 russet potatoes, not peeled (amount depends on the size of your crockpot)
2 Cups frozen corn
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 tsp flat leaf parsley, chopped
3 tsp Better Than Bouillon low sodium chicken bouillon
3 Cups water

(that's a Reynold's crockpot liner, available at your local grocer)

Chop all fresh veggies and add to crockpot. Add frozen corn. Add seasonings, bouillon, and water, no need to stir. Cover with lid and turn crockpot to low heat for 3 hours. At 3 hours stir the soup and turn to high. Check soup after 1 hour to see if it's done, but it'll probably need another hour or so. You'll know by checking the onion and potato. To cook only on low you could probably leave it for 6 or 7 hours just fine.
>While the soup is cooking there is some prep for later (or do this ahead of time if you are heading out the door to work).
1)Cook until crispy 4 slices of bacon. The crispier the better so it won't get soggy later. Chop up the bacon and set aside.
2) Place 2 chicken breasts ( 3 or 4 if they are small) in an oven safe container. Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and extra virgin olive oil. Bake @ 350 for 20-30 minutes or until no longer pink in the center. Allow to cool then chop in bite size pieces. Set aside.

Once the soup is just about done or ready to be served it's time to make it chowder!
Add:
1 package (8oz) cream cheese
Milk- just enough to make it the thickness you desire. For thicker chowder, omit the milk.
Chopped bacon
Chopped roasted chicken

Mix all together and serve! But, before I serve I always do one last taste to see if it needs more salt or bouillon.
For garnish sprinkle parsley on top. I love to serve this with a Rosemary Bread :) Trader Joe's is super yummy.

Chicken or Turkey Enchilada's, my mom's recipe

2011-06-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

This is a super easy recipe. Freezes well, great to make for company, potlucks, etc.

2 C turkey or chicken, cooked and chopped. (To roast: place chicken breast on shallow baking sheet, sprinkle with EVOO, salt, and pepper and bake at 350degrees for about 20 minutes or until no longer pink in the center. Allow to cool and then chop up.)
1 can cream of chicken or cream of mushroom soup
1 pint (16oz) sour cream
4oz can chopped green chilies, undrained
1/4 C chopped onion
1 can sliced olives, drained
1 Cup + 1/2 C grated cheddar cheese
1 package large flour tortillas (the bigger size is easier to work with)

Combine all except 1/2 C cheese and tortillas. Spread some across the bottom of a 9x13 pan, just to coat it. Roll up some of the mixture in each tortilla and then place the tortillas in the pan. Pour remaining mixture over the top and spread evenly. Sprinkle 1/2 C cheese over the top. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until bubbly.
*This is also yummy with sweet corn added in :)

I'll try to add a pic later after it's done baking.

2011-06-16T14:43:00.000-07:00

If only you had my view right now....I'm the luckiest girl. Evie, all 21lbs of her, is passed out on my lap. Her lips tend to open up as she sleeps and I can smell the faint scent of breastmilk from her mouth :) She is precious. When this happens (her falling asleep on me), as it does daily, I have 2 options- try to put her down and get things down or just relax and let her sleep. I've decided today to not fight it and just let her sleep on me. I get to Facebook, watch Rachel Ray, and the house will get cleaned....later.

Cloth diapering is going well. I have almost 40 diapers now. How did that happen? Ebay and amazing friends. Heather and Stephanie, you ladies rock! I can go at least 3 days without washing diapers and sometimes longer. I still love the Fuzzibunz and Goodmama's and I'm liking the Rumparoos also. I got my Sunbaby order last week and they are very cute and soft inside. However, Evie leaks in them. I change her and within an hour her pants are wet. Super annoying. I'm thinking I'll have to use 2 inserts in the Sunbabies unless I want to keep changing pants all day, which I don't.

There has been so much happening in life lately and it's sort of like I'm just hanging on for the ride! I am praying a lot and trying to step out in faith and make good decisions about things. I feel happy with myself to look at the me of 4 years ago and the me I am today and I know I've changed, grown, and matured as a person. Being a mother is a huge part of that. Now if only I had 5 minutes with my husband with no kids...that would be nice! Evie is 6 1/2 months. Guess how long it's been since we had a date??? Ding ding ding, you have answered correct! Over 6 1/2 months! lol

Jack

2011-06-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

This is my little sister and me the summer I met Craig. I was 21 :) Oh to look like that again and to be able to wear a halter without a bra- lol!

Me and one of my besties...we were about 17.

That's me in the middle. I was about 19, on tour with the Continentals. We were somewhere in middle America in this picture in some funky old diner.

These days I feel like a Jack of All Trades, and not in a good way. Sort of like I do a million things and I don't do any of them excellently. Boo! I remember before kids and as busy as I thought I was, I wasn't really! I could shop or go for a run or spend 2 hours learning a new recipe or stay up til 4am reading and finishing an amazing book. I could curl my very fine but very thick hair for an hour and a half or dye my hair just cuz I was feeling bored (and I changed colors monthly!). I could experiment with makeup and try on 6 outfits to get it just right. I had TIME. I could watch 4 seasons of Sex in the City (naughty me) in a row doing crunches and painting my nails during. These days my life is filled with meal making in hurry, nursing, laundry, diapers, cleaning, tidying up, running errands, and then POOF my day is over. There are times I miss the old me. I miss that I had time to really spend on myself and it showed. It makes me sad when I look at old pictures and remember what I used to look like and then I look in the mirror and feel really bummed. This is the "I've let myself go" stage and it sucks. I was wearing a size 6/8 when I met Craig, believe it or not. That size said goodbye years ago. What will it take to put more focus on me? I'm not really sure right now.

I make meals, but not the ones I want to make or the ones I wish I could take time to figure out or learn.

I clean, but never as much as I want or as deeply as I wish I had time for.

I put on clothes, but rarely an 'outfit'. It's just whatever is clean and easy for nursing and getting spit up on.

I feel stretched in a million directions and like I should be able to balance it all better and give more to each of my kids, my husband, and still give more to me. But I only have so many minutes and I only have so much energy.

Do all moms struggle with this? I think they must.

Big Changes

2011-06-08T23:22:00.000-07:00

Wow, life has been busy and it's not even officially summer yet! The three kids keep me busy from 7am to 9pm and then I have a few hours to watch TV/google/birth group chat/coupon research/etc with Evie passed out on me.

Evangeline is 6 months old. She is a very happy, smiley baby. She's 20lb15oz and 27 inches. That puts her at greater than the 97th percentile for weight and the 82nd percentile for height :) She is fat and happy with just mama's milk. I'm not sure when I'll start her on 'food' but for now we're doing just fine with breast milk only. I only wish she was a better sleeper. That is really my only complaint with her. Most days she doesn't sleep more than 20-30 minutes the entire day. She won't nap in a crib, won't nap in her swing, and will only fall asleep on me on or in the Ergo (which is still on me) and even then she doesn't sleep long. It's rather amazing how pleasant she is considering the major lack of sleep. It's mostly just hard as a mom when you honestly never get a break. At night she usually sleeps from 7:30-10 or 11 on me and then nurses and goes in her crib and sleeps to anywhere from 3am-6am, then nurses again and gets up for the day at 6:30 or 7. I never even knew a 6 month old could go 12 hours without a real nap. It's craziness!

She is doing great in her cloth diapers. I am still waiting on my Sunbaby Diapers shipment so for now I'm doing laundry every other day. Once I have the Sunbaby's and a package a friend is sending me (whoop whoop Heather!) I should be able to go 3 or 4 days easily :) That'll be fabulous! The Fuzzibuns have been wonderfully easy and we haven't had any leakage. One time I forgot to change her for several hours and she leaked a little but that was my fault. At night I double stuff her Fuzzibunz (2 inserts) and she's fine in the morning. I love the look and feel of cloth diapers and I can't believe I never did this earlier!

There have been some major changes in the Frazier household over the past week and that's what has kept me off my blog, sorry about that!
Jacob has been staying with us since the night before Easter. He is a sweet, caring boy with a sense of humor, zest for life, and lots of energy! After about a month we started noticing that he really wanted to be here for school and to try things out here. He was making little comments here and there and if we'd try to ask him about it or talk with him about things he'd just start crying and saying how much he loved his mom and that he didn't want to hurt her feelings. We were praying about things and trying to decide what to do. We didn't want to insult, hurt, or make his mom feel attacked, but yet we sensed in our hearts that it was maybe time for him to stay here for a little while. Our fear was that his mom would say no without event thinking about it, but we were really feeling a stirring in our hearts that I know was the Holy Spirit. I believe it was last Monday and Jacob seemed kind of down. I was in the living room with him and the girls and just started talking to him about things and he got very emotional. I could tell he was really worried about how his mom would feel, but also really wanted to stay here for school. I tried to comfort him and explain that there are things that kids need dads for and it doesn't mean his mom is a bad mom at all, but boys need their dads. He got even more emotional and was trying to tell me that he wanted to be able to do boy stuff and be with his dad and just be a kid. My heart felt so sad for him and I was crying with him. I talked with Craig about the conversation later and he felt strongly that he should just call her. He prayed and then I prayed and then he went outside to call. Long story shorter it was a good call and the dialogue was left open; she needed time to think it over understandably. Craig, Jacob and Jacob's mom ended up having a speakerphone conversation that night and she told Jacob she was fine with him staying here for the school year. After the call Jacob seemed so relieved, it was like an elephant was off his back. He was happy and chatting up a storm about all the things he was excited for. I asked him if he felt better knowing his mom was OK and not mad at him at all. He got quiet and nodded his head. I sent him and Craig off to DQ for celebratory blizzards :) Since then things have been great. Jacob seems freed up to enjoy life here and get settled. It's hard to really invest in people and a place when in the back of your head you keep thinking about leaving. Now that he knows he gets to stay for a while he seems so content and open.

We really feel so blessed. The Holy Spirit has been working and doing some amazing things here and we're just along for the ride! Eliana loves her big brother and it's really great getting to know him and spend more time with him. The longest we'd ever had him prior to this trip was 2 weeks. It's extremely hard to get to know someone in 2 weeks a year. Just when things start to feel comfortable it's time to go! We're praying and trusting God to work out the details and to continue to provide for us. Maybe a 6 or 7 passenger vehicle will just fall out of the sky! lol. For now Jacob is sitting in between his little sister's carseats. He doesn't complain but I feel bad for him being squished between them. Anyway, all in due time...

Cloth Diapers: I'm now vested

2011-05-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

Alright, I'm invested! I've put my money where my mouth is and purchased some cloth diapers! After lots of searching and lots of bidding and getting outbid a ton (sad!) I finally won a couple Ebay auctions for Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers. They were both from the same seller so I got combined shipping also and when she found out I was new to CD (cloth diapering) she got excited and offered to throw in anything else she finds that'll be helpful along with some Rockin Green Detergent and a diaper sprayer for free! It retails for $45 on Amazon. Talk about a Godsend and blessing. And a friend offered to send me a sampler of some different brands of diapers since she's done diapering (can you believe it?). Thank you Steph! Feels like Christmas, I'm seriously so excited to get all this. Like I mentioned in the other posts, I really can't do laundry every day, so that means I need enough diapers to last at least 2 or 3 days. After the Ebay auctions I'm up to 15 diapers, so I bought the smallest set on sunbabydiapers.com which will give me another 12 diapers (and it's only $60 for 12 diapers and 12 inserts!). I should be at about 30 diapers total now and that'll give me some laundry leeway :) I was told and it's SO true that you have to change diapers more often when you cloth diaper. They actually feel wet so you can't just leave them in the same diaper for 6 hours (I mean, who does that anyway, right? Oh. Me. Whoops!).

The cost of cloth diapers can vary greatly. If you want to spend $1,000 on cloth diapers, it would be pretty easy to do so. BUT, you can take your time and search and wait and bid and find some really great deals. For 27 diapers, a diaper sprayer, about 50 inserts, 1 wet bag, 2 waterproof diaper pail liners, 1 overnight diaper cover, and detergent I'm only in it for $240. Amazing! Yes, it's an investment up front, but I am going to save at least $400 with just Evie and more if we have more kids.

If you go to Ebay and just search 'cloth diapers' you'll see there are tons available. Type in specific brands and you'll weed it down quite a bit. So far I'm deciding what the top dollar is I'll pay for a specific diaper (usually $5 or less) and then going that route. Some have free shipping, if not I have to factor that in to the $5 max.

Alright, that's all for now. It's almost 10pm and I haven't had dinner yet. I'm starving!

Cloth Diapers: How it's going...

2011-05-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

Evie has been in cloth diapers for 2 1/2 full days now...other than 1 disposable this morning. I've done diaper laundry 2x, but if I go full fledged cloth diapering I'm hoping to have enough to only wash every 3ish days.

I have to say, I'm actually enjoying the cloth diapers. Her already chubby hiney is just bigger and even more round :) I feel like I'm doing something good for her every time I put a cloth diaper on her. I love that I'm not putting any chemicals on her. It just feels so natural- good for her, good for the environment. Washing the diapers is easy enough. Sort of a pain needing to rinse first and then wash because it means an extra trip downstairs, but not bad and Craig has been helping. If (or probably more just when) I go to cloth diapers I'll need a few things; wet bag for the diaper bag, hanging wet bag/diaper pail/bucket/etc for the nursery, Country Save/Rockin Green/etc (cloth diaper friendly detergent)....what am I missing???

So far my favorite diapers are the Fuzzi Bunz. They are pretty incredible. SO easy and her skin feels nice when I take the diaper off. She hasn't leaked or blown out in these either. The Good Mama diapers are really nice also, but they need a waterproof cover and I'm not sure I want to do that full time. I do like the idea of that for night thought since the GM's are very absorbent, thick, and comfy. Maybe someone will just have a few they want to sell me....???

I know on Tuesday I said I liked the Thirsties fitteds best, but I believe the size S ones are too little for Evie because we kept having leakage/blowout issues. That made me not like them anymore, but the Good Mama's are a fitted and I do like them, so I'm still open to it. I'm thinking I'll go the pocket diaper route at this point. My friends were right and they do dry faster than All in Ones. They also absorb better than fitteds. Gee I have good friends, they are so right!

I'm pretty much sold, just still trying them out, looking for good deals, etc :)

My first foray into cloth diapers!

2011-05-24T23:33:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking/pondering/wondering about cloth diapering for quite some time now. I had thought about it when I was pregnant with Evie but with our septic literally leaking into our yard, it just wouldn't have been good to add any more laundry into the situation. Then we moved and it seemed doable again and then WHAM we became a family of 5. There's been A LOT going on and I'm ~~running around like with a chicken without a head~~ dealing with it. Financially things have been...interesting. My husband works his tail off to provide for us and is gone by 5 or 6am every day and works til 4pm without a lunch and then often works late (sometimes only til 6, sometimes til midnight or later). And then when he is not at work his phone is ringing all the time with people needing him and he frequently has to leave to go to random jobs and/or lock and unlock buildings for subcontractors. He works A LOT and only gets paid for 40 hours a week, nothing more. Days go by without us having more than 5 minutes of conversation. I know that sounds exaggerated, but I'm totally serious. When he is here we are entertaining chatty Charles, a 2 year old and an almost 6 month old- along with trying to keep the grass mowed, laundry done, veggies attended to, kids fed, house clean, etc. Craig and I haven't had any time together without kids fully needing us for 6 months. It's been hard and I'm feeling it. We are so happy and grateful to have Jacob living with us. We feel it was God that brought this opportunity and we wouldn't change it. However, feeding 4 people is different than 3. As is the amount of laundry, cleaning, neediness, etc. I'm ~~reeling~~ dealing.

SO, cloth diapers. I believe there a gazillion reasons why someone might cloth diaper and for each person it's a different main reason. For me, it comes down to a few reasons:

1) Financial. I would love to have more kids if God provides the babies and a way to pay a midwife. Spending some money up front now and being able to diaper a few more kids with one set of diapers would be fabulous! We spend about $30-$45 a month on diapers for one baby currently.

2)Environmental. I don't love that diapers end up in landfills :(

3)My babies. Diapers are full of chemicals and toxins and those chemicals become 'live' when they are wet- our babies are sitting in diapers full of live chemicals! Gross and sad. I like the thought of them having natural fibers against their skin and no chemicals.

4)Cuteness. This is really a totally minor factor, more of a bonus :)

Cloth diapers can be pretty confusing for the first type cloth diaperer. I took a look at http://www.diaperswappers.com/ several months ago and it really freaked me out. TOO many choices and too many kinds of diapers. Yikes!!! I ran for the hills. So let me see if I can break it down a bit-

Their are 4 major cloth diaper types - Prefolds, All In One's and All In Two's, Pockets, & Fitteds.

Prefolds- These are the cloth diapers most people picture when you talk about cloth diapering. It's a rectangle piece of layered material that you fold in 3 to use as the absorbent part of a diaper with a cover (can be with snaps, velcro, pins, etc).

All in One's/All in Two's- AIO's are pretty slick. These have everything you need all in one piece. They are typically snaps or velcro and have the absorbent piece built in. It's as easy to put on as a disposable diaper and just as easy to take off.

Pockets- These are almost the exact same thing as an AIO except they have a pocket that you put the absorbent stuffer in. This allows you to adjust the amount of absorbency to your child's needs. They also dry faster since you take the stuffer out to wash and dry. These are waterproof and do not need a cover, same as the AIO's.

Fitteds- These look just like a AIO or Pocket, but they do not have a waterproof cover built in. They are typically a tighter, slimmer fit and close with velcro or snaps. You need to put a waterproof cover over them, so they are a 2 piece diaper (or more if you add additional absorbency pieces inside).

A wonderful and generous friend has kindly loaned me some of her stash to try different kinds out and see what I like. For fit I'm liking the Fitteds with a cover. They fit closer to her body and aren't so bulky. I also think it's handy to just open the cover and change the fitted. The brand I'm trying is Thirsties. And you reuse the cover for a while unless it's got poo on it or something, so that is nice as far as laundry goes. I haven't tried the AIO's or pockets yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll like the pockets a lot. These particular ones are Fuzzibunz and they are so nice. Very soft fabric and very easy to use. I like that you can adjust the amount of absorbency based on how many inserts you put in and that they dry faster.

I put Evie in her first cloth diaper today and was surprised by how easy it was. We took off to run errands in Silverdale and I put two cloth dipes in the diaper bag and had the wet bag along, too. The wet bag is a cloth zippered bag that is waterproof on the inside. This one has a fabric piece sewn to the inside so you can put lavender oil or something yummy smelling on it so your diaper bag doesn't reek when you open it during the day :) Genius! Upon arriving in Silverdale and parking at the first store I realized she had done the poop of the century! Apparently she felt very relaxed in her new hippy, crunchy (that means 'natural') diapers. Ha! I cleaned it up and put her in a new diaper. The first diaper she was in was a prefold. I may not have folded it all that well because her poo did leak. After that one I put her in a fitted with a cover. I changed the fitted 2 more times during the day and then before bed put her in a GoodMama fitted (which is thicker and has two built in extra layers of absorbency) and cover for nighttime. Pretty simple! I am running a load of diapers right now because I didn't want to nasty poo one sitting around. Laundry will honestly have to be a whole different post since it's a lot to talk about and I'm JUST getting started. But this is the basics (thanks Katie):
1. Cold pre rinse cycle

2. Hot wash then cold rinse with 1 tablespoon of soap. It has to be free of fragrance/dyes/enzymes/brighteners

3. Extra rinse

4. Tumble dry or hang to dry

This is a great chart for what laundry soaps to use or not to use- http://www.diaperjungle.com/detergent-chart.html .

Right now I'm feeling like I'm going to have a meltdown about some $$$ things and so that being said cloth diapering is looking very attractive. It appears that you can cloth diaper if you have $50 or $5000. Whatever you have to spend on diapers, you can and you will :) BUT you don't have to spend a ton. A friend showed me Sun Baby Diapers and they are super cute! 12 pocket diapers and 12 inserts is only $60 and of course you can get more and spend more.

TheGoodMama diapers are super nice, but spendy. They start at $29 just for the fitted inside part and then an additional $16 and up for the cover.

I'm finding a lot on Ebay and Craigslist, so that is also a good option for buying if you don't mind used. I personally couldn't care less. If they are washed, who cares! It's just baby poop :)

Let's think about it this way...when I was a Personal Banker I often had to help people judge whether a mortgage refinance was beneficial. One way to do this was to see how much the refi would cost and then how long it would take them to recoup the cost. Ie. If a refi cost $4k and they would save $300 a month, it would take them 13.3 months to be ahead- meaning they better plan on being in that home longer than 14 months to make it work it. I think we can apply this principle to diapers. I currently pay $30-$45 a month in diapers. I'm finding some great Fuzzibunz diaper lots online and if I can get an adequate stash for $100, it'll only take me less than 3 months to make it profitable! Evie is about 6 months old so we have 18 months or more of diapering left which means I would save $450 just in diapering her (based on a $30 a month cost)! And if we use the diapers for other children we'll just keep saving. Of course if I spend more on buying diapers, and I might have to, then our savings would be a little less. Interesting, huh? Many websites will tell you that you'll save $2k-$4k by cloth diapering and that just makes me want to say, "where the heck are you buying your diapers? You're getting ripped off!" BUT, it can still be cost efficient to cloth diaper and it's obviously better for your child's skin and our nation's landfills.

More to come on this topic, but so far I'm liking the thought of cloth diapering. Last week I posted on Facebook, "I'm not totally sure how it happened, but somehow I turned into a homebirthing, veggie growing, amber teething necklace wearing, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, sometimes co-sleeping, limited vaxing, semi(and more by the year)-crunchy mom ♥" What was missing from that??? CLOTH DIAPERING! lol

Chewbeads Giveaway!

2011-05-15T21:17:00.000-07:00

Hey mamas and mamas to be...a few days ago I found Chewbeads online and my first thought was, "OMGosh I want one!" I don't have an extra $30 lying around at the moment so I haven't been able to order one, but I found this blog that is doing a Chewbeads giveaway. Woop woop!

What are chewbeads? Check them out here. And now *drumroll please*......here's the giveaway: CLICK HERE (Pink Holidaze Blog).

You can also like Chewbeads on Facebook to find out about products and other giveaways.

I'm back!

2011-05-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

Yay, blogger is back! The site was down for me for a couple days and I got irritated trying to access it so I gave up on blogging for a little while. But I'm back!

The days are flying by in a crazy whirlwind. I'm still exhausted most days because even though she is happy, chubby, and just plain jolly- little miss Evie is not a huge sleeper and prefers to sleep ON ME. :)

Jacob has been here 3 weeks already, can you believe it? He's made some great friendships and I'm already feeling sad that he'll have to leave these when he goes back to his mom's. He goes to Sunday School and Royal Rangers with them and will also go to VBS in June with them. What a blessing that my friends have boys his age! He LOVES spending time with them.

We are 1 1/2 weeks into potty training with Eliana. She typically does really well during the day. Sunday was our first day of no accidents but then she woke up with a stomach bug Monday morning and that understandably set us back. But by Thursday we were back on track and she was accident free Thurs and Fri. Today was another story. Two stinky accidents (SO disgusting) and one pee pee accident. She gets busy playing and forgets and honestly has only pooped in the toilet a couple times so we're still working on that! She wears a pull-up at night and I don't think she's ready for undies at night yet. Each child is different and if yours can do more power to ya, but Elly just isn't there yet and I'm ok with that. If she if day-trained for now that is great. Her pediatrician said it's typical to wear pull-ups at night for at least 6 months if not longer once they are day-trained.

I joined Amazon's free mom club and then ordered pull-ups on there. They were 23 cents each which is a very good price, and free shipping, too. As far as Evie goes I'm still open to cloth diapers but at this point the sudden change from a 4 person family to 5 has left my head spinning most days, so cloth diapers are LOW priority. They are also an investment up front and let me tell you- 11 year old boys eat a lot...so that's where the money is going these days. And apparently our attorney sort of shafted us when drawing up the parenting plan because there's no clause for us to not pay child support when he is here. So yes, he is here for 9 weeks and we have to pay his mom child support every week :( Makes me mad if I think about it too much. Or even if I think about it a little. Ok, moving on.

We almost have our garden all the way planted now. I'm doing everything from seeds this year as it's so much cheaper and you get so many more plants. I'm using all Ed Hume seeds. Moms and More had a garden specialist come speak a couple months ago and he recommended Ed Hume seeds because they are grown in Everett and are cultivated so that the strongest of each crop becomes the seeds for the next one and so forth.

So far we have bush peas, pole peas, carrots, walla walla onions, 4 different lettuces, green beens, zucchini, cucumbers, and strawberries. I also have mint, rosemary, parsley, lavender, and chives. Just need to decide where to plant the corn. Jacob helped me plant the seeds and he was surprised that it's actually kind of fun! Eliana likes to plant the seeds also. I get irritated because I'm always fighting the clock trying to get work done before Evie flips out and needs me again (she's still very clingy to mama) so I get impatient with Eliana and then she cries. It's all very dramatic. And then I feel bad for being a mean, nasty mama only worrying about finishing it and not enjoying the process. That's me though, I like to get to the deadline and just DO IT. Having children is teaching me to enjoy the process....or try to enjoy the process :) So I sat down and let her sit on my lap, butt naked as she was since she peed in her pants and I didn't want to go all the way up to the house to get new undies (lol), and we planted green beans together one at a time. She is so super uber sweet and I need to remember to cultivate her sensitivity and not crush it.

Alright, nothing profound to post right now. Lots brewing in my mindgrapes, but I just don't have the energy to go there right now.

Peace out

The price of being a one income family

2011-05-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there is a price to being a one income family. Today is the kind of day we feel that price.

We have an '01 Durango with two rows. You would think it could hold 5 people, but once you put two carseats in the backseat, good luck. My sister can fit in between the carseats but she is long and lean with narrow hips. I definitely can't fit back there and neither can my mom or Craig.

With Jacob being here we have been borrowing my parent's 1988 Suburban. I learned to drive in it and although it's missing luxuries like key FOB's and a cd player, it works...Well sort of. It was always very reliable 15 years ago when my parents drove it all the time. But for us it has been unreliable. It'll start but then not stay running. 1 1/2 weeks ago I was actually driving it when it stopped working. I was going 25 mph and had to pull it off to the side of the road quickly. And I was by myself with 3 kids. Not a good feeling.

Last weekend we had a get together to be at, the weekend before that was when Jacob flew in and then I was in the Easter production at church all day and the weekend before that I was crazy busy putting on the Moms and More Rummage Sale. And the weekend before that? Yup, Craig worked the WHOLE weekend. I was looking forward to and dreaming of this weekend for the whole last month. We woke up and the sun was shining and we got all ready to go to the Poulsbo Farmer's Market. We were loaded up in the car at 10:10am. Yay! BUT, the car wouldn't stay running. Craig would get it going and within 5 seconds it would die. This happened over and over. He went and bought a new distributor cap and rotor but that didn't fix it. 2 hours later I told him to please just take a break and spend time with his kids that he hardly sees. Such a frustrating day. It's just been one thing after another lately, you know lots of little things that all combined make you want to crawl in bed and just cry. But I have a breastfeeding 5 month old and potty training 2 year old. No crawling in bed and crying for this mama!

At this point we are stranded at home. And no that's not the end of the world as this is a great house and we have a big yard. I just haven't left this house since last Monday (seriously) and I was really looking forward to getting out of the house and going to the Farmer's Market.

This is the cost of being a single income family. We can't afford to just go buy another car that will fit all of us. I see a lot of my working mom friends driving around in new or almost brand new cars, but we can't do that. I wouldn't trade the car situation for being home- definitely not- but that doesn't mean it's not frustrating sometimes. Craig's truck is paid for, we paid cash for it back when I was working. The Durango has a loan and we owe too much on it to do anything. Liberty Bay Auto offered a Kia Minivan with an almost $400 monthly payment. Uh, NO.

And it's true that we're only going to be squished and tight for another 6 weeks, but what happens when we want to have another baby? I will just have to take it one day at a time and trust God to provide a vehicle when He provides a baby.

I will find a way to get over this helpless feeling today and we'll try to make the best of our day! Right?

And Happy Mother's Day.

Potty Training Day 2 and 3

2011-05-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

I had been warned by several moms about how terrible potty training can be. I read the blogs and Dr. Sears articles and I quite frankly feared it! However I'm learning there is not much a paper towel and lysol wipe can't remedy. Potty training is not the end of the world! :)

Yesterday's count was:Accidents-3, Successes-21

Today's count was:Accidents- 3 1/2, Successes-13

The biggest issue right now is that Eliana is afraid to go poop in the toilet. Apparently this is usually the biggest hurdle in potty training and a normal fear with children. When she was in diapers (oh my gosh *tears*...she's in undies now, what a big girl!) she would go off and find a corner to do her business. Like a mama cat she wanted to be alone with no one looking at her or pressuring her. I'm hoping that if we can get her to go poo at least once in the toilet we can just make it a circus in here celebrating how awesome she is and then she'll always want to do it in there. I fed her high fiber oatmeal for breakfast, strawberries for snack, lentil and spinach soup for dinner....talk about Fiber and still nothing! It's bound to happen eventually and I'm trying to not make it a big deal in the meantime. Last night we spent almost 2 hours trying to get her to go poop and she kept crying and saying "buns owie!" But she clenched that little hiney and didn't let anything out. Now she's probably backed up :( Hmmmm....is this blog really about POOP? What has my life come to??? ha!

She's been doing very well and I'm so proud of her. Half of the time she forgets about the jelly beans and so that's nice, too. Her little best friend just potty trained also. They are 6 weeks apart and totally different personalities. But we mothers will make them friends gosh darn it! Eliana is touchy-feely. She loves to hug and snuggle, hold hands, share everything, and be 'buddies'. Alivia is more independent and much less touchy-feely- this is where the conflict happens. My little touchy girl is holding on for dear life for a hug and kiss and poor Alivia is trying to escape the little clingy hands! It's funny to watch and we know someday we'll just laugh about it and they'll be walking off hand in hand to play. Alivia has mastered poo and pee on the toilet so hopefully Eliana isn't too far behind :)

Eliana stayed about 98% dry during yesterday's super short 30 minute nap and then amazingly stayed dry all night, too. Incredible. Granted she was up before 7am (NOOO!!!), but staying dry was awesome. Today she napped for about 2 hours and her pull up was wet, but I was really grateful for the nap. I decided to go with pull ups or 'special undies' as we call them for night time so I wouldn't be changing sheets 2x a day. We'll see how it goes. I also have waterproof diaper covers (just the thin plastic undies from Walmart) that I can use over undies if needed. That way they still have that icky wet underwear feeling but the sheets aren't a wreck. I'm not positive that she's developmentally able to hold her pee all night every night so we'll just see how it goes. I think I will also talk to the pediatrician about it next week when we go in to check on the girl's ears.

Today she drove me a little crazy by sitting on the toilet and insisting she needed to go pee but then not actually peeing. It was like I was watching the minutes of the day go down the toilet instead of her pee. Frustrating. I realize now that it's not that big of a deal and I just need to breathe and give her grace. She's only 2 1/2 and learning something new. Take a chill pill Diana! Sometimes life overwhelms me (lots going on, not just the potty training!) and I become Debbie Downer. In those moments I'm grateful for friends.

I will say that Potty Training is fairly exhausting. As a mama you have to be on high alert at all times to watch for cues. In a diaper Elly could go off and play for an hour and I didn't even think twice. Now it's like, "uh-oh, where is she? Elly, do you need to go potty!" PANIC! My house is 98% carpet- light beige carpet, too.
Overall, potty training has not been something to fear. It's a huge milestone in development and something we will continue to work through in the weeks and months to come. I am so proud of her :)

2011-05-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

Here's a thought:

If our bodies don't work the way we think they will and they give us a heck of a time just trying to conceive...how can we trust them to do birth like they are supposed to?

I just read a question similar to this on a birth page and it made me stop and go "hmmmm. I NEVER thought of that before but it totally makes sense!"

We started actively trying to get pregnant in August 2006 (meaning trying with docs and everything because just being off birth control wasn't doing jack). We didn't conceive until almost March of 2008. It was agonizing. And I know many many people would think that is a cake walk as they've been trying for much longer. I empathize and I ache for you. All I can speak about is my own pain and what it felt like for us. My body did fail me. I am a woman. I am supposed to have eggs and I am supposed to ovulate. After ovulation I am supposed to menstrate. Other than already having eggs (we're born with our life supply) my body did NONE of those things. I felt like a failure and like "what kind of woman am I?" We conceived on 200mg of Clomid which is about the highest dose an OB will let you take. It was also cycle 6 which is usually the last cycle they'll let you take before you need a break or they suggest IUI or IVF. Every month was emotionally painful and sex was a stressful chore. When I got pregnant I continued to see the OB that helped us with the fertility problems. I didn't appreciate her underhanded jabs about my weight but didn't really understand I could transfer care. Looking back it's appalling to me that I went home in tears 2x after she slyly called me fat! I already knew I was overweight and the 30lbs I gained during the stressful years of infertility weren't helping anything :( Anyway, I trusted the 'system' that got me pregnant to help me have a beautiful labor and delivery. FAIL.

So anyway, I could write all night but I think I'll let this one simmer......I think on some level the way my first labor and delivery played out have something to do with me not trusting my body that couldn't even get pregnant on it's own. Sad and clearly not God's plan for me. My 2nd labor and delivery were completely different and totally healing because I learned to trust my body and God's plan for childbirth.